Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: HELP

Listen: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Drops Heavy Metal Ornaments on ‘A Visit From St. Nicholas’
Breaking, Music News

Listen: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Drops Heavy Metal Ornaments on ‘A Visit From St. Nicholas’

Chord F. DiscordDecember 19, 2025December 19, 2025

James Hetfield vs. Santa Claus: The Epic Battle for Christmas Supremacy Begins Now (Spoiler: He Wins) πŸŽΈπŸŽ… In a move…

GHOST Teams Up With FEEDLA And SERVE ROBOTICS To Haunt Hungry Inglewood With Surprise Snacks
Breaking, Music News

GHOST Teams Up With FEEDLA And SERVE ROBOTICS To Haunt Hungry Inglewood With Surprise Snacks

Chord F. DiscordDecember 19, 2025December 19, 2025

Ghost’s Skele-Bot Delivers More Than Just Riffs in Inglewood Charity Stunt πŸ€–πŸŽ In a move that’s equal parts charitable and…

From Script to Cash: How a Film Development Team Gets You to $1 Million in Funding
Live

From Script to Cash: How a Film Development Team Gets You to $1 Million in Funding

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 19, 2025

Buckle up, broke filmmakers! 🎬✨ This “workshop” promises to teach you how to magically turn your $1M+ script into a…

Hugh Jackman trades claws for wool in The Sheep Detectives – baaah humbug!
Breaking, Movie News

Hugh Jackman trades claws for wool in The Sheep Detectives – baaah humbug!

FinnDecember 18, 2025December 18, 2025

Move over Sherlock Holmes, there’s a new crime-fighting duo in townβ€”two sheep who’ve traded their wool for trench coats and…

Star Wars: Fate of the Old Republic – Watch the Trailer for the New Single-Player Video Game Because Apparently No One Told It Gaming Has Online Mode
Breaking, Games News

Star Wars: Fate of the Old Republic – Watch the Trailer for the New Single-Player Video Game Because Apparently No One Told It Gaming Has Online Mode

FinnDecember 17, 2025December 17, 2025

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except everyone with an internet connection), EA has…

β€˜The Muppet Show’ Returns and We’re Already Questioning Our Life Choices
Breaking, Movie News

β€˜The Muppet Show’ Returns and We’re Already Questioning Our Life Choices

FinnDecember 17, 2025December 17, 2025

πŸŽ‰ BREAKING NEWS: The Muppets Are Back, Baby! Because the World Clearly Needed More Chaos and One Too Many Frog…

The Great American Employment Circus: Clown Cars, Tightropes, and Other Job Report Shenanigans
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The Great American Employment Circus: Clown Cars, Tightropes, and Other Job Report Shenanigans

Big ElephantDecember 16, 2025December 16, 2025

Democrat Chaos Crashes Economy: Jobs Report Shows 40,000 Jobs Added, Unemployment Stays at 4.4% as Government Shutdown Wrecks Data Collection…

US Government Forms Tech Force to Recruit AI Wizards and Nerds
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Government Forms Tech Force to Recruit AI Wizards and Nerds

Big ElephantDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

Government’s Latest AI Initiative: Hiring Tech Bro’s to Fix the Bureaucracy In a stunning revelation, the Trump administration has launched…

Rob Reiner and His Wife Dead: Director’s Tragic End in Hilarious Yet Morbid Turn of Events
Breaking, Movie News

Rob Reiner and His Wife Dead: Director’s Tragic End in Hilarious Yet Morbid Turn of Events

Chord F. DiscordDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

And now for the news that’s rocking Hollywood harder than a Spinal Tap drum solo β€” Rob Reiner, the man…

Live

Sibling Sexual Behavior: When Twins Decide to Break the Gene Pool Record

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 15, 2025

**About this event** The CSA Centre proudly presents *β€œSibling Secrets: When Your Brother is Your Biggest Fan (in the Wrong…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 44 45 46 … 58 Next

Latest posts

  • Democratic Socialists Plotting While Democrats Nap
  • LEGO Unveils KPop Demon Hunters Set Featuring Derpy Tiger Sussie Bird
  • August 2026s Top AirPods Deals Revealed Now
  • Serj Tankian Weighs In On John Dolmayan’s Trump Fatigue Suddenly
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald posts on Truth Social on given date

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright Β© 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.