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Trump to Farmers: Here’s Your $10B ‘Sorry I Started a Trade War’ Gift
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump to Farmers: Here’s Your $10B ‘Sorry I Started a Trade War’ Gift

Big ElephantOctober 5, 2025October 5, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re crying about farmers supposedly having a “tough year” because of President…

Alex Lifeson’s Serbian Roots: From Toronto to Tamburica Triumphs
Breaking, Music News

Alex Lifeson’s Serbian Roots: From Toronto to Tamburica Triumphs

Chord F. DiscordOctober 5, 2025October 5, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with the ultra-hip Hear 2 Zen podcast (because who *hasn’t* heard of it?), RUSH guitarist Alex…

Puppetoon Secret Speakeasy: Prepare for a Night of Strings and (Maybe) Booze
Live

Puppetoon Secret Speakeasy: Prepare for a Night of Strings and (Maybe) Booze

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 4, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 Museum of Interesting Things presents the Puppetoon Secret Speakeasy! 🎭 Sunday, Oct 5th 2025, 8pm in Soho NYC…

CNN: Ammunition Graffiti Exposes Deeply Troubling Motives of People Who Write on Bullets
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Ammunition Graffiti Exposes Deeply Troubling Motives of People Who Write on Bullets

Big ElephantOctober 4, 2025October 4, 2025

Oh, the Left is at it again, folks! Now they’re scribbling their woke nonsense on bullets before they go out…

“Military Brats: School System’s Favorite Game of Hide-and-Go-Seek”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Military Brats: School System’s Favorite Game of Hide-and-Go-Seek”

Big ElephantOctober 4, 2025October 4, 2025

Oh, the Deep State is at it again, folks! These Florida teens, probably indoctrinated by their leftist professors, are trying…

Pet Shop Boys to grace Lytham Festival 2026, ensuring ticket touts a hefty profit
Live, Music News

Pet Shop Boys to grace Lytham Festival 2026, ensuring ticket touts a hefty profit

Chord F. DiscordOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

Prepare yourselves, peasants! Pet Shop Boys, those relics of the 80s, have deigned to grace the stage at Lytham Festival…

NINE INCH NAILS Announce February/March 2026 North American Tour (Get Ready to Be Disappointed Again)
Live, Music News

NINE INCH NAILS Announce February/March 2026 North American Tour (Get Ready to Be Disappointed Again)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

😱 BREAKING: Your Grandpa’s Favorite Band, NINE INCH NAILS, Is Back to “Peel It Back” One More Time! 👴🎸 Get…

Nike’s Genius Plan to Pay $1.5 Billion in Taxes and Call It a “Turnaround”
Elephant Reads CNN

Nike’s Genius Plan to Pay $1.5 Billion in Taxes and Call It a “Turnaround”

Big ElephantOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

Oh, the irony! Nike, that bastion of woke capitalism, is whining about tariffs imposed by our great President Trump! Seems…

Minecraft Goes Back to the Stone Age (But Make It Copper)
Breaking, Games News

Minecraft Goes Back to the Stone Age (But Make It Copper)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 28, 2025September 28, 2025

Alright, gamers, gather ’round because Minecraft is apparently still a thing! 🙄 After enduring the “Happy Ghast” update (who asked…

ICE! GRAB THAT GUACAMOLE! (And Maybe a Guy)
Elephant Reads CNN

ICE! GRAB THAT GUACAMOLE! (And Maybe a Guy)

Big ElephantSeptember 26, 2025September 26, 2025

Folks, you won’t BELIEVE the latest Deep State theatrics! CNN, (aka the Communist News Network) is clutching their pearls because…

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Latest posts

  • AC/DC somehow still touring because boomers need something to do
  • RUSH somehow still functioning despite Geddy Lee’s old man illnesses
  • Warframe Gets Yet Another Overhaul Because Why Not
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump orders flags lowered for Lindsey Graham
  • Pitbull Breaks Record For Largest Crowd In Bald Caps Gathering

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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