Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Him

Justices to Mull Over Whether Druggies Should Pack Heat, Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong
Elephant Reads CNN

Justices to Mull Over Whether Druggies Should Pack Heat, Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong

Big ElephantOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

The Supreme Court, packed with President Trump’s brilliant picks, is bravely wading into the swamp to determine if drug-addled leftists…

JEFF WATERS (Annihilator) is Officially Broke: Selling EVERYTHING but His Soul
Breaking, Music News

JEFF WATERS (Annihilator) is Officially Broke: Selling EVERYTHING but His Soul

Chord F. DiscordOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

ANNIHILATOR‘s supreme overlord, Jeff Waters, bless his little cotton socks, has decided that the UK is no longer worthy of…

Maryland Cake Day Massacre: Zoom Zoom, Then Doom Doom
Elephant Reads CNN

Maryland Cake Day Massacre: Zoom Zoom, Then Doom Doom

Big ElephantOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Another day, another tragedy in a liberal-run state! A woman is dead and 13 injured after some maniac plowed through…

Limp Bizkit Bassist (lol) And Co-Founder (who cares?) SAM RIVERS (never heard of him) Dead At 48 (old fart)
Breaking, Music News

Limp Bizkit Bassist (lol) And Co-Founder (who cares?) SAM RIVERS (never heard of him) Dead At 48 (old fart)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Okay, so like, LIMP BIZKIT‘s bassist, Sam Rivers, apparently bit the dust at the ripe old age of 48. Guess…

W.A.S.P. Still Alive? See ‘Em in Oulu, Finland – Album ONE Alive! (Barely) Fall 2025 European Tour (Maybe Their Last!)’
Breaking, Music News

W.A.S.P. Still Alive? See ‘Em in Oulu, Finland – Album ONE Alive! (Barely) Fall 2025 European Tour (Maybe Their Last!)’

Chord F. DiscordOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because W.A.S.P., those geriatric glam rockers who somehow haven’t kicked the bucket yet, graced Tullisali in…

VINNIE VINCENT Thinks ACE FREHLEY Had ‘Something’ – We’re Dying of Laughter
Breaking, Music News

VINNIE VINCENT Thinks ACE FREHLEY Had ‘Something’ – We’re Dying of Laughter

Chord F. DiscordOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

So, like, KISS guitarist Vinnie Vincent (you know, the dude who kinda looked like a rejected glam rocker from a…

CNN: Trump FINALLY Realizes Pakistan Isn’t Just a Place to Buy Knock-off Ties
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Trump FINALLY Realizes Pakistan Isn’t Just a Place to Buy Knock-off Ties

Big ElephantOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Oh, boy, here we go again! The liberal media is trying to make it seem like President Trump is cozying…

Fred Durst Cries a River for Sam Rivers in 8 Whole Minutes: Prepare to Roll Your Eyes
Breaking, Music News

Fred Durst Cries a River for Sam Rivers in 8 Whole Minutes: Prepare to Roll Your Eyes

Chord F. DiscordOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Oh my gosh, like, LIMP BIZKIT‘s supreme overlord, Fred Durst, has graced us with a super-emotional 😭 (not really) tribute…

John Bolton’s Hush-Hush Investigation: Yawn
Elephant Reads CNN

John Bolton’s Hush-Hush Investigation: Yawn

Big ElephantOctober 18, 2025October 18, 2025

Lock Him Up! Another Deep State Operative Bites the Dust Thanks to President Trump’s Tireless Fight Against the Swamp! That’s…

No Kings 2: Electric Boogaloo! CNN Serves Up Another Helping of Weekend Wah-Wah
Elephant Reads CNN

No Kings 2: Electric Boogaloo! CNN Serves Up Another Helping of Weekend Wah-Wah

Big ElephantOctober 17, 2025October 17, 2025

Here we go again, folks! The liberal snowflakes are planning another round of their “No Kings” protests because, apparently, they…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 120 121 122 … 132 Next

Latest posts

  • Ricky Martin Joins Gael Garcia Bernal’s Hombre al Agua as Producer
  • Tucson Desert Yields Human Remains Possibly Linked To Nancy Guthrie Somehow
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Iran Completely Collapses According to President Donald J Trump
  • Canada Strikes Back With Costly Kraft Dinner
  • California Bails on Paramount Meeting Amid WBD Takeover Drama

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.