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Hitman Summons Slim Shady: Prepare for Rap Battles and Silent Assassin Shenanigans
Breaking, Games News

Hitman Summons Slim Shady: Prepare for Rap Battles and Silent Assassin Shenanigans

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE what IO Interactive is doing this December! They’re, like, TOTALLY selling out by shoving global…

Boogie Nights in 4K: Because You Haven’t Seen Enough Fake Penises
Breaking, Movie News

Boogie Nights in 4K: Because You Haven’t Seen Enough Fake Penises

FinnNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Wow, hold onto your hats, folks! Boogie Nights, that cinematic masterpiece (or, you know, just a movie) from 1997 by…

Trump Threatens to Unleash the Kraken (aka Fire Bessent) if Fed Doesn’t Obey His Royal Interest Rate Demands
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Threatens to Unleash the Kraken (aka Fire Bessent) if Fed Doesn’t Obey His Royal Interest Rate Demands

Big ElephantNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, twisting President Trump’s words! Our glorious leader, in his infinite wisdom, is just…

“We Bury The Dead” – Prepare to Yawn as Daisy Ridley and Brenton Thwaites Battle Zombies (Again!) in This Trailer
Breaking, Movie News

“We Bury The Dead” – Prepare to Yawn as Daisy Ridley and Brenton Thwaites Battle Zombies (Again!) in This Trailer

FinnNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

Oh, JOY! Another zombie flick! 🙄 Because we *totally* haven’t seen enough of those already. Apparently, some catastrophic military oopsie-daisy…

Billy Corgan Thinks Smashing Pumpkins Opera Won’t Be Total Trainwreck
Breaking, Music News

Billy Corgan Thinks Smashing Pumpkins Opera Won’t Be Total Trainwreck

Chord F. DiscordNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

So, BILLY CORGAN, the dude who thinks wrestling is a legitimate sport, has decided his music is high art.🤡 He’s…

BBC Bows Down to Royal Overlords After Embarrassing Title Slip-Up
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

BBC Bows Down to Royal Overlords After Embarrassing Title Slip-Up

Big ElephantNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

The BBC, that bastion of leftist propaganda, has groveled before royalty (and President Trump, MAGA!) after a series of unfortunate…

Dragon Quest VII: Prepare to Yawn (Again)
Breaking, Games News

Dragon Quest VII: Prepare to Yawn (Again)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

Ah, Dragon Quest VII, the game that promised adventure and delivered… eventual boredom 😴. Back in 2001, I thought I…

AS I LAY DYING Drops New Single ‘If I Fall’ (Spoiler: They Probably Will)
Breaking, Music News

AS I LAY DYING Drops New Single ‘If I Fall’ (Spoiler: They Probably Will)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

Ah yes, “Echoes”, the sound of desperation from AS I LAY DYING, a band whose leader thought hiring a hitman…

CNN: Trump’s Twitter Fingers vs Khashoggi: A Human Rights Comedy Show
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Trump’s Twitter Fingers vs Khashoggi: A Human Rights Comedy Show

Big ElephantNovember 19, 2025November 18, 2025

Folks, can you believe the Fake News is STILL whining about Khashoggi? It’s 2025, Trump’s in his second term, and…

House Accidentally Votes to Unleash Epstein Files Upon Unsuspecting Senate
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

House Accidentally Votes to Unleash Epstein Files Upon Unsuspecting Senate

Big ElephantNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Folks, can you believe it? The Swamp, even with our GREAT President Trump at the helm, is still infested with…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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