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Mamdani’s Weepy Sermon: My Faith’s Great, Cuomo’s the Devil
Elephant Reads CNN

Mamdani’s Weepy Sermon: My Faith’s Great, Cuomo’s the Devil

Big ElephantOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

Looks like the radical left is pulling out all the stops in New York! We’ve got Zohran Mamdani, the Democratic…

Bob Odenkirk’s face + Ben Wheatley’s weirdness = “Normal” (yeah, right)
Breaking

Bob Odenkirk’s face + Ben Wheatley’s weirdness = “Normal” (yeah, right)

FinnOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

Oh, sweet merciful carp! 🎣 Another Bob Odenkirk flick? Seriously? Is this guy contractually obligated to be in EVERYTHING? Someone…

AEROSMITH, YUNGBLUD, and STEVE MARTIN Team Up For ‘My Only Angel’ Remake – Prepare to be Confused
Breaking, Music News

AEROSMITH, YUNGBLUD, and STEVE MARTIN Team Up For ‘My Only Angel’ Remake – Prepare to be Confused

Chord F. DiscordOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

So, like, AEROSMITH, those dudes who haven’t been relevant since your grandpa’s dentures were shiny and new, and Yungblud, who…

Slash Whines About Spheres, Las Vegas, and Maybe Even Guns N’ Roses (Boo-Hoo)
Breaking, Music News

Slash Whines About Spheres, Las Vegas, and Maybe Even Guns N’ Roses (Boo-Hoo)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Slash, the dude who still wears a top hat in 2024, 🎩 is apparently too cool 😎 for…

Matthew Modine, bless his heart, thinks you care about his Full Metal Jacket doc
Breaking, Movie News

Matthew Modine, bless his heart, thinks you care about his Full Metal Jacket doc

FinnOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Like, who even cares about another documentary on Stanley Kubrick’s FULL METAL JACKET? Seriously, are we still milking…

Trump’s Brain Teaser: How to Annoy Vlad Without Making Americans Cry Over Gas Prices
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Brain Teaser: How to Annoy Vlad Without Making Americans Cry Over Gas Prices

Big ElephantOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

Here we go again, folks! CNN is clutching their pearls because President Trump is being too tough on Russia. Apparently,…

Max Cavalera on Soulfly’s ‘Chama’ Album: More Punk Than Your Grandma’s Knitting Circle
Breaking, Music News

Max Cavalera on Soulfly’s ‘Chama’ Album: More Punk Than Your Grandma’s Knitting Circle

Chord F. DiscordOctober 23, 2025October 23, 2025

OMG! SOULFLY is dropping a new album called “Chama” on October 24 via Nuclear Blast Records. Max Cavalera, the mastermind…

ICE Hiring Spree: 10,000 New Reasons to Question Reality
Elephant Reads CNN

ICE Hiring Spree: 10,000 New Reasons to Question Reality

Big ElephantOctober 23, 2025October 23, 2025

Another day, another leftist media outlet trying to undermine our GREAT President Trump! CNN is now hyperventilating because ICE is…

Iron Maiden, Megadeth, and Anthrax Announce Geriatric Reunion Tour for 2026, Will Probably Need a Walker
Events, Music News

Iron Maiden, Megadeth, and Anthrax Announce Geriatric Reunion Tour for 2026, Will Probably Need a Walker

Chord F. DiscordOctober 23, 2025October 23, 2025

Ah, yes, the geriatric rockers IRON MAIDEN, bless their cotton socks, are dusting off their walkers and venturing out on…

Foo Fighters Drop New “Tune,” Tease Geriatric Rock Odyssey with Stone Age Queens in 2026
Breaking, Music News

Foo Fighters Drop New “Tune,” Tease Geriatric Rock Odyssey with Stone Age Queens in 2026

Chord F. DiscordOctober 23, 2025October 23, 2025

FOO FIGHTERS, those purveyors of dad-rock and stadium anthems for people who still think flannel is cool, are gracing us…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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