They Will Kill You – Zazie Beetz Takes on a Demon Cult and Probably Ruins Their Group Chat
🚨 BREAKING: Local Woman Discovers That Joining a Cult Is NOT Covered by Her Gym Membership 🚨 😱💸 In a…
Tag: horror
Nita Strauss: The Melodic Death Metal Workout Queen Who Can’t Curl a Bicep Without Soilwork and At the Gates
When Nita Strauss Isn’t Shredding Guitars, She’s Shredding… Her Own Excuses (And Occasionally Her Soul on the Treadmill) 🎸🏋️♀️ In…
Code Vein II Producer Keita Iizuka Explains How Time Travel Factors In
Oh great, another cash grab disguised as “innovation” in gaming. Buckle up, you degenerates, because Bandai Namco just dropped the…
How to Get Kidnapped on TikTok: A Guide to Social Media Safety and Human Trafficking (Spoiler Alert: Don’t Post Your Location)
🚨BREAKING: Adults Finally Realize the Internet Exists—Schedule Emergency Meeting to Warn Kids About Social Media Dangers (Despite Still Using Facebook)…
Wine Crawl Detroit: Pre-Sale Wait List for Those Who Missed the Party
Wine Crawl is swooping into Detroit like a tipsy superhero, promising to save Michiganders from the horror of… regular water!…
Amorphis’s Santteri Kallio Thinks AI Music Videos Are the Future Because He’s Too Lazy to Hire a Director
Oh great, another day on the internet where we’re not just debating whether robots will replace us, but whether they’ll…
Caribbean vacations ruined by pesky clouds and bureaucracy
Another day, another American military operation to save the world from another socialist dictator – and now the snowflakes in…
John Wick and Saw Games In Development, Confirmed By Lionsgate – Because Apparently Video Games Still Exist
🚨 BREAKING: Lionsgate Announces New John Wick and Saw Games, Because Apparently We Need More Ways to Die in Virtual…
10 Remakes That Completely Butchered the Original in the Funniest Genres Possible
🚨BREAKING: Hollywood Discovers That Copying Movies Is Cheaper Than Therapy, Proceeds to Ruin Everything We Loved 🚨 In a stunning…
LEFT TO DIE Says Talked About Making Music: ‘That Would Be Great’ Says RICK ROZZ
Oh, you didn’t know? Death metal’s back, and it’s brought a casket of nostalgia, a few riffs, and absolutely zero…