The hottest new movie of the summer is here, and it’s not just the temperature outside that’s making everyone sweat – it’s the talent of 20-year-old director Kane Parsons, who’s about to blow the lid off the film industry with his debut feature, Backrooms 🌟! But, of course, there are some haters out there who just can’t accept that someone so young could be so gifted 🙄. I mean, it’s not like he’s the next Spielberg or anything… oh wait, he’s actually being compared to Spielberg, and that’s just crazy talk 💥!
So, the movie is getting rave reviews (80 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, no big deal 🤷♀️) and is expected to open with a whopping $30-$50 million, which is just peachy for an indie horror movie 🎃. But, naturally, there are some trolls out there who think that Parsons didn’t actually direct the movie 🤔. They’re claiming that one of the famous producers, like James Wan, Osgood Perkins, or Shawn Levy, must have secretly directed it for him 🤫. I mean, it’s not like Parsons has been working on this project for years, pouring his heart and soul into it, or anything 💔.
But, don’t worry, folks, one of the stars of the movie, Mark Duplass, is here to set the record straight 🎉. He’s like, “Uh, no, guys, I was there, and Parsons totally directed this movie himself 🙅♂️.” Duplass even went on to say that he was hired to mentor Parsons, but it turned out that the young director didn’t need any help at all 🤓. He was “intensely prepared” and worked closely with his crew, and was even “sensitive and calm and smart” when dealing with actors 🤩. So, to all the haters out there, Duplass is like, “Were you there? Nope, didn’t think so 🙅♂️.”
So, there you have it, folks 🎉. Backrooms is a movie directed by a 20-year-old genius, and it’s going to be a wild ride 🎢. Don’t @ me 🙅♂️. And, by the way, if you’re one of those people who thinks that Parsons didn’t direct the movie, well, you’re just wrong 🙄. It’s like, get over yourself and just enjoy the movie, okay? 🍿. The film opens in theaters this weekend, and I’m sure it’s going to be a screaming success (get it? 🎃)!
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
