Sleep Profiles, Impending Doom, and How to Get Fired: Today’s Excruciating Headlines
Here’s your daily dose of liberal lunacy and deep-state shenanigans, folks! Don’t worry, President Trump is still in charge, making…
Tag: horror
“Send Help” Trailer: Sam Raimi Finally Crawls Out of His Hole After 15 Years (Were We Waiting?)
Oh great, another Sam Raimi movie! 🙄 As if we haven’t suffered enough, the guy who peaked with Spider-Man 2…
China Blames Trump’s Tantrums for Trade War 2: Electric Boogaloo
Oh, the horror! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is “shocked” that China is acting like… well, China! They’re cutting…
‘Five Nights at Freddy’s’ Fans Somehow Okay With Megan Fox Playing a Chicken
HOLY. CHICKEN. NUGGETS. 🐔 They actually cast Megan Fox in Five Nights at Freddy’s 2. As Toy Chica? Are you…
M. Night Shyamalan Ruins the Magic 8 Ball with a TV Show No One Asked For
🤡 A Magic 8 Ball TV show? Oh, honey, the signs point to… maybe? I mean, who asked for…
Oops! Crypto Takes a Tumble Because Trump’s Still Got Beef With, Well, Everyone
Oh, the horror! The leftist dream of digital funny money has taken a nosedive, and they’re blaming President Trump! As…
OpenAI Sucks Up Enough Juice to Power a Small Planet (Thanks, Sora 2 & ChatGPT)
Oh, the horror! OpenAI, fresh off its leftist indoctrination programs (err, I mean, “AI”), is now partnering with Broadcom to…
Oh, No! Not Canada Boycotting America Again: Who Will Buy Our Maple Syrup Now
Oh, the horror! It seems our polite neighbors to the north are throwing a hissy fit because President Trump dared…
Gaza: Come Home to Dust and Despair, Courtesy of Your Friendly Neighborhood Apocalypse
Oh, the horror! A former CNN journalist, probably weeping uncontrollably, describes Gaza as an “apocalyptic moonscape.” I bet she conveniently…
CNN Analyzes: Beijing Hilariously Unfazed by Trump’s Pathetic Tariff Tantrum
Oh, the horror! CNN, that bastion of truth (LOL!), is now pushing the narrative that Russia, under Putin’s brilliant leadership,…