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Tag: horror

Character AI’s New Overlord Has a Totally Believable Plan to Keep Your Precious Little Darlings from Becoming Chatbot Addicts
Elephant Reads CNN

Character AI’s New Overlord Has a Totally Believable Plan to Keep Your Precious Little Darlings from Becoming Chatbot Addicts

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN reports that some tech guru named Karandeep Anand is now the CEO of Character.AI, a platform…

20 states throw hissy fit after Trump admin yeets Medicaid data to deportation squad
Elephant Reads CNN

20 states throw hissy fit after Trump admin yeets Medicaid data to deportation squad

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

The Socialist States of Kalifornia, Ill-Annoy, and Commie DC are at it again, whining about President Trump daring to enforce…

White House to replace Jen Psaki with interpretive dance
Elephant Reads CNN

White House to replace Jen Psaki with interpretive dance

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Oh, the horror! Now the radical Left wants to force our glorious President Trump to provide American Sign Language interpreters…

Clawfinger Drops New Single ‘Scum’ – Because Apparently, Trump’s Still Living Rent-Free in Their Heads
Breaking, Music News

Clawfinger Drops New Single ‘Scum’ – Because Apparently, Trump’s Still Living Rent-Free in Their Heads

Chord F. DiscordJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

OMG! CLAWFINGER, those geriatric Swedish rap-metal dudes, just dropped a music video for their new single, “Scum”. πŸ™„ Apparently, it’s…

Alaskan Pork and Whale Bribes: Murkowski Sells Her Soul to Trump (Again) | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Alaskan Pork and Whale Bribes: Murkowski Sells Her Soul to Trump (Again) | CNN Politics

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Oh, the drama in D.C. never ends! Looks like Senator Murkowski, bless her heart, held up President Trump’s “big, beautiful…

CNN: WATCH as Politician Throws Hissy Fit Over ICE Daring to Detain Iranians
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: WATCH as Politician Throws Hissy Fit Over ICE Daring to Detain Iranians

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Another day, another Democrat crying crocodile tears! Yassamin Ansari, probably fresh from her secret meetings with the Ayatollah, is “concerned”…

OMG! πŸ’€RIPπŸ’€ to TWO Whole Video Game Actors You Might Recognize (or Not, Who Cares?)
Breaking, Games News

OMG! πŸ’€RIPπŸ’€ to TWO Whole Video Game Actors You Might Recognize (or Not, Who Cares?)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Alright gamers, hold onto your controllers because Surgent Studios, the masterminds behind such *hits* as Tales of Kenzera: ZAU (yeah,…

AMC to Cram Even MORE Ads Down Your Throat Starting Today
Elephant Reads CNN

AMC to Cram Even MORE Ads Down Your Throat Starting Today

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Oh, the horror! More ads at the movies? This is what happens when you let the woke mob run Hollywood!…

Wolfie’s New Album: So Fresh, It’s Basically Still in Diapers
Breaking, Music News

Wolfie’s New Album: So Fresh, It’s Basically Still in Diapers

Chord F. DiscordJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

In a riveting exposΓ© with Ronni Hunter from the intellectual powerhouse known as 99.7 The Blitz, Wolfgang Van Halen, the…

Ukraine’s Foreign Ministry Spokesperson Says Terror Scale Now Bigger Than Ever, Must Be Seen to Be Believed
Elephant Reads CNN

Ukraine’s Foreign Ministry Spokesperson Says Terror Scale Now Bigger Than Ever, Must Be Seen to Be Believed

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Oh, the horror! The Ukrainian Foreign Ministry is hyperventilating again about Russia. Apparently, the “scale of terror is growing.” You…

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  • Mitch McConnell crawling back to power like the swamp creature he is
  • MOONSPELL finally ran out of vampire novelty checks and had to actually try on their next album far from god after Fernando Ribeiro almost lost his goth card for not being edgy enough

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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