Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Events
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Hours

Events

The Enduring Spell of Curiosity Cabinets or How We Rearranged the Universe Just to Show Off Our Weird Rocks

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 15, 2026

Mark your calendars for September 26, 2025, because you’re definitely going to “attend” this online-only Zoom lecture. 📅💻 Get ready…

‘Avengers: Doomsday’ and ‘Dune 3’s Opening Day Is Now Dunesday’ Because Screw Going Outside On A Wednesday I Guess
Breaking, Movie News

‘Avengers: Doomsday’ and ‘Dune 3’s Opening Day Is Now Dunesday’ Because Screw Going Outside On A Wednesday I Guess

FinnJanuary 15, 2026January 15, 2026

Oh, look! The Hollywood Industrial Complex has decided to bless us with not one, but two massive ego-stroking spectacles on…

Lee Cronin’s The Mummy Gets a Teaser So New It Forgot to Reanimate
Breaking, Movie News

Lee Cronin’s The Mummy Gets a Teaser So New It Forgot to Reanimate

FinnJanuary 14, 2026January 14, 2026

Oh, fantastic, another reboot! 🎉 Just what the cinematic universe desperately needed: LEE CRONIN’S THE MUMMY, because clearly, we have…

Corey Taylor to Sell You Signed Photos at a Horror Convention (Because He’s in Slipknot, Apparently) in Pasadena This May 2026
Breaking, Events, Music News

Corey Taylor to Sell You Signed Photos at a Horror Convention (Because He’s in Slipknot, Apparently) in Pasadena This May 2026

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 14, 2026January 14, 2026

🧟‍♂️ ATTENTION, MAGGOTS & MONSTER-FREAKS! 🧟‍♂️ Slipknot’s Vol. 5: The Search for More Money has officially begun, and this time…

Animal Crossing: New Horizons Players Hacked Their Switches to Skip the Line for the 3.0 Update Starting Today
Breaking, Games News

Animal Crossing: New Horizons Players Hacked Their Switches to Skip the Line for the 3.0 Update Starting Today

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 14, 2026January 14, 2026

Strap in, you glorified digital hermits, because your overlords at Nintendo have decided to grace your Switch with the 3.0…

A ‘Phenomenal’ Actor Has Been Picked To Play The Prince of Darkness In Upcoming Biopic
Breaking, Music News

A ‘Phenomenal’ Actor Has Been Picked To Play The Prince of Darkness In Upcoming Biopic

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 13, 2026January 13, 2026

Hold onto your bat-biting handbags, rock and roll eternity enthusiasts, because the saga of the Prince of Darkness is officially…

Boomer Screws Up Economy So Bad Their Grandkids Have To Attend A Free Webinar On Trauma
Events

Boomer Screws Up Economy So Bad Their Grandkids Have To Attend A Free Webinar On Trauma

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 13, 2026

**Family trauma is hereditary! 😱 Join Alex Rohn, LMHC, on Apr 30, 2025, at 12:00 PM ET for a 1-hour…

Marvel Hypes Up a Clock That Ticks (Literally) for the ‘Avengers’ Premiere
Breaking, Movie News

Marvel Hypes Up a Clock That Ticks (Literally) for the ‘Avengers’ Premiere

FinnJanuary 13, 2026January 13, 2026

Hold on to your wallets, true believers, because Marvel has officially run out of actual news and has decided to…

Bob Weir of Grateful Dead Finally Gives Up the Ghost at 78
Breaking, Music News

Bob Weir of Grateful Dead Finally Gives Up the Ghost at 78

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Bobby Weir Finally Checks Out After 78 Years of Confusing Audiences With That One Chord 🚨 In a…

2026 Golden Globes: The Winners (Because Apparently Someone Still Cares)
Breaking, Movie News

2026 Golden Globes: The Winners (Because Apparently Someone Still Cares)

FinnJanuary 11, 2026January 11, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Hollywood’s Most Prestigious Night of Questionable Decisions Approaches 🚨 😱🎬 Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone who just wants to…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 17 18 19 … 28 Next

Latest posts

  • Al-Qaeda Wins New York Primary
  • Why Hollywood Keeps Rebooting Everything
  • Judge Stomps on Feds Over Trans Kids’ Med Records
  • New ‘Jackass’ Trailer Shows Aging Johnny Knoxville Trying To Climb Staircase Without Handrail
  • Thune Tells Trump No Again LOL

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}