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Tag: Hours

The 15 Movies Hollywood Thinks Will Distract You From the Impending Apocalypse
Breaking, Movie News

The 15 Movies Hollywood Thinks Will Distract You From the Impending Apocalypse

FinnDecember 29, 2025December 29, 2025

2026: The Year Hollywood Decided to Throw a $2 Billion Birthday Party for Itself (And Accidentally Invited Us) Ah yes,…

The Most Expensive Disasters of 2025
Breaking, Movie News

The Most Expensive Disasters of 2025

FinnDecember 29, 2025December 29, 2025

2025 was a cinematic dumpster fire wrapped in a CGI explosion and served with a side of “but the algorithm…

Trump Brags About Accidentally Nuking a Taco Stand During Venezuela ‘Operation
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Brags About Accidentally Nuking a Taco Stand During Venezuela ‘Operation

Big ElephantDecember 29, 2025December 29, 2025

Trump Nukes Venezuelan “Big Plant” – Turns Out It Was Just Hugo Chavez’s Old Taco Stand In a stunning display…

Ubisoft Insists Everything’s Fine While Rainbow Six Siege Players Accidentally Buy Infinite Coffee with Stolen Currency
Breaking, Games News

Ubisoft Insists Everything’s Fine While Rainbow Six Siege Players Accidentally Buy Infinite Coffee with Stolen Currency

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 29, 2025December 29, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Ubisoft Claims No Data Was Breached… But Your Wallet Definitely Was! 🚨 In a stunning turn of events…

Protocols in Practice: How to Stop Arguing About JSON vs XML and Start Pretending We All Agree
Events

Protocols in Practice: How to Stop Arguing About JSON vs XML and Start Pretending We All Agree

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 29, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Water Industry Discovers the Existence of ‘Protocols’—One-Hour Crash Course to Fix Decades of Chaos 🚨 📅 When: One…

‘Avatar: Fire and Ash’ Burns Through Cash Like a Na’vi Bonfire Party
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

‘Avatar: Fire and Ash’ Burns Through Cash Like a Na’vi Bonfire Party

Big ElephantDecember 28, 2025December 28, 2025

Leftist Hollywood’s Latest Propaganda Piece “Avatar: Fire and Ash” Burns Through $760 Million, Proves Even Aliens Can’t Escape the Woke…

SOLD OUT: SF Cuddles – HeartLab Becomes Sudden Hug Hotspot on Dec 28th 2025
Events

SOLD OUT: SF Cuddles – HeartLab Becomes Sudden Hug Hotspot on Dec 28th 2025

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 27, 2025

🚨BREAKING: Cuddle Party Extends Snuggle Time Because Apparently 3 Hours Wasn’t Enough Hugs for Grown Adults! 🚨 Starting April 2025,…

Does creatine live up to the hype? Or is it just expensive water weight for gym bros with ego lifts
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Does creatine live up to the hype? Or is it just expensive water weight for gym bros with ego lifts

Big ElephantDecember 27, 2025December 27, 2025

Yet Another Liberal “Miracle” Supplement Promised to Fix Everything from Gym Gains to Global Warming—Spoiler: It’s Just Salt and Hype…

El Paso: VALENTINO KHAN’S 360-DEGREE BASS APOCALYPSE AT 11:11 – BRACE YOUR EARDRUMS [18+]
Events

El Paso: VALENTINO KHAN’S 360-DEGREE BASS APOCALYPSE AT 11:11 – BRACE YOUR EARDRUMS [18+]

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 26, 2025

🚨 ATTENTION PARTY PEOPLE: VALENTINO KHAN’S 360° EXPERIENCE IS HERE TO RUIN YOUR EARDRUMS AND EMPTY YOUR WALLET! 🎉💸 📅…

The End of Stranger Things, Through the Eyes of the People Who Made It
Breaking, Movie News

The End of Stranger Things, Through the Eyes of the People Who Made It

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 26, 2025December 26, 2025

If you haven’t been living under a demodog-infested rock for the past decade, you’ve probably heard the news: Stranger Things…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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