Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Hours

Warframe: The Old Peace Update – Prepare for Disappointment on December 10th
Breaking, Games News

Warframe: The Old Peace Update – Prepare for Disappointment on December 10th

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

OMG! 😱 Warframe is FINALLY giving us The Old Peace on December 10th! 🗓️ Get ready to have your mind…

Glenn Hughes: Still Alive After All These Years (and Sober, Apparently)
Breaking, Music News

Glenn Hughes: Still Alive After All These Years (and Sober, Apparently)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

OMG! Glenn Hughes, aka the “Voice of Rock” (according to himself, probably), is TOTALLY celebrating 28 years of sobriety! 🎉…

MACHINE HEAD Announces ‘An Evening With…Your Impatience’ Spring 2026 European Tour (Because We Know You’ll Still Complain)
Live, Music News

MACHINE HEAD Announces ‘An Evening With…Your Impatience’ Spring 2026 European Tour (Because We Know You’ll Still Complain)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

Alright, headcases, or should I say, empty-headed cases? 🤡 Your supreme overlord, Robb Flynn, has graced you with news of…

“It’s a Wonderful Life” or “How to Guilt-Trip People into Donating to a Food Pantry”
Live

“It’s a Wonderful Life” or “How to Guilt-Trip People into Donating to a Food Pantry”

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 23, 2025

OMG! 🙄 “It’s A Wonderful Life” 😇 screening after Black Friday shopping! 🛍️💸 An angel 👼 shows a businessman 💼…

Vampire Crawlers: Yet Another Poncle Game Announced (Yawn) at the Xbox Partner Preview
Breaking, Games News

Vampire Crawlers: Yet Another Poncle Game Announced (Yawn) at the Xbox Partner Preview

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Okay, so Poncle, the geniuses 🤡 behind the *totally* original game Vampire Survivors (which definitely didn’t borrow from anything else…

BBC Bows Down to Royal Overlords After Embarrassing Title Slip-Up
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

BBC Bows Down to Royal Overlords After Embarrassing Title Slip-Up

Big ElephantNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

The BBC, that bastion of leftist propaganda, has groveled before royalty (and President Trump, MAGA!) after a series of unfortunate…

Justin Long Discovers a Secret So Horrific, It’ll Make You Question Your Life Choices (and Maybe His)
The film does look good, but the trailer could be considered a little spoilery
Breaking, Movie News

Justin Long Discovers a Secret So Horrific, It’ll Make You Question Your Life Choices (and Maybe His)

FinnNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Oh, look, another gritty cop drama where the hero has to team up with the very people he’s sworn to…

FEMA Chief Decides To Spend More Time With Family, Which Is Code For “Trump Was About To Fire Him”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

FEMA Chief Decides To Spend More Time With Family, Which Is Code For “Trump Was About To Fire Him”

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Another Deep State Operative Bites the Dust! Richardson, the now-former head of FEMA, is out! Sources say this lib couldn’t…

KISS’ Manager Promises Documentary Will Show a Side of KISS No One Asked to See
Breaking, Music News

KISS’ Manager Promises Documentary Will Show a Side of KISS No One Asked to See

Chord F. DiscordNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups 💋, because during a riveting (read: snooze-fest😴) November 15 panel discussion at the “KISS Kruise: Landlocked…

Horizon Steel Frontiers: An MMORPG Masterpiece Grazing Your Phones (Not Your PS5, Sorry)
Breaking, Games News

Horizon Steel Frontiers: An MMORPG Masterpiece Grazing Your Phones (Not Your PS5, Sorry)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 14, 2025November 14, 2025

Behold, peasants! At the illustrious G-Star 2025, NCSOFT, in their infinite wisdom 🧠, has bestowed upon us a new global…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 38 39 40 41 Next

Latest posts

  • Kamala Harris’ Home Security Actually Works For Once
  • Trump Administration’s Brilliant FEMA Firings Deemed Totally Not Legal
  • Celine Dion Returns to Stage in Paris After Six Years
  • Spin of the Day: Slate Pears Game 394: Sept. 12, 2026 — 87% Journalism Not Found
  • Hegseth desperately tries to make Iran rescue sound exciting

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.