Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: ICE

Nancy Wilson Wishes Ann Wilson a Speedy Recovery From Her Imaginary Wheelchair for the ‘Royal Flush’ Tour: Will She Ever Walk Again
Breaking

Nancy Wilson Wishes Ann Wilson a Speedy Recovery From Her Imaginary Wheelchair for the ‘Royal Flush’ Tour: Will She Ever Walk Again

Chord F. DiscordMay 30, 2025May 31, 2025

In a riveting exposé with GoToWhitney, HEART guitarist Nancy Wilson deigned to address the burning question on everyone’s minds: why…

The Wire Actor’s Kid Does Extreme Skydiving, Blames Tornado
Breaking

The Wire Actor’s Kid Does Extreme Skydiving, Blames Tornado

FinnMay 30, 2025May 30, 2025

OMG! 🚨 Poot from “The Wire” (yeah, that’s all he’s ever done) claims a tornado demolished his house in Georgia!…

AC/DC’s Chicago Concert in 4K: Prepare to Have Your Eyeballs Melted (Maybe) During Their 2025 “We Swear This Is The Last One” Tour
Breaking

AC/DC’s Chicago Concert in 4K: Prepare to Have Your Eyeballs Melted (Maybe) During Their 2025 “We Swear This Is The Last One” Tour

Chord F. DiscordMay 25, 2025May 26, 2025

OMG! 😱 MusicJunkie422 (probably some tone-deaf millennial) has uploaded 4K video of AC/DC’s May 24 concert at Soldier Field in…

Metallica Announces 2026 European Tour: Still Playing Those Same Songs, Huh
Breaking

Metallica Announces 2026 European Tour: Still Playing Those Same Songs, Huh

Chord F. DiscordMay 22, 2025May 22, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Metallica, those lovable dinosaurs 🦕, are STILL at it! They’ve announced their “M72” tour is crawling back to…

Borderlands 4: Give Us All Your Money, You Pathetic Vault Hunter
Breaking

Borderlands 4: Give Us All Your Money, You Pathetic Vault Hunter

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

So, apparently, some whiny “fans” are clutching their wallets tighter than a goblin guarding its gold because *Borderlands 4* might…

Suede’s Back, Apparently, With a Record About Being Sad, Probably
Breaking

Suede’s Back, Apparently, With a Record About Being Sad, Probably

Chord F. DiscordMay 19, 2025May 19, 2025

Suede, bless their cotton socks (or should that be leather trousers?), are BACK! 🥳 With their TENTH studio album, creatively…

Harley Flanagan and the missus yammer ’bout rabbit food and a movie nobody asked for 🥕🎬🙄
Breaking

Harley Flanagan and the missus yammer ’bout rabbit food and a movie nobody asked for 🥕🎬🙄

Chord F. DiscordMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

Oh, sweet lord, another washed-up hardcore dude trying to stay relevant. 🙄 Harley Flanagan, the human embodiment of a mid-life…

💸 GET PAID to LEAVE THE USA? 🇺🇸 Riot Games Now SPONSORING Cheater Deportations! Exclusive Dirt Inside! 🔥
🤯 IMMIGRANT Cheaters on WELFARE Playing Valorant?! Riot & DHS Say «GET OUT!» 🏹 Self-Deport or JAIL TIME! 🚓
Games News

💸 GET PAID to LEAVE THE USA? 🇺🇸 Riot Games Now SPONSORING Cheater Deportations! Exclusive Dirt Inside! 🔥

FinnMay 6, 2025May 6, 2025

In a world where your K/D ratio in Call of Duty is a more significant life achievement than, say, curing…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 37 38

Latest posts

  • Rubio Buddy Gets 10 Years for Lobbying on the Down Low
  • 10 Surefire Ways To Execute Criminals
  • Chump To Receive No Compensation For Rescuing Children From Fire
  • GOP Suddenly Discovers Frugality in North Carolina
  • Hudson Freeman Drops New Album Doom Country and Debut Single

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.