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Tag: ICE

Disney Crowns Josh D’Amaro King of Mouse Castle, Hopes He Doesn’t Mess Up the Magic
Breaking News: Disney Just Found Its Next Scapegoat
Breaking, Movie News

Disney Crowns Josh D’Amaro King of Mouse Castle, Hopes He Doesn’t Mess Up the Magic

FinnFebruary 3, 2026February 3, 2026

In a shocking move that surprised absolutely no one, The Walt Disney Company announced today that its Board of Directors…

Finally, DHS in Minneapolis Gets Body Cameras—Because Nothing Says ‘Trust’ Like Surveillance
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Finally, DHS in Minneapolis Gets Body Cameras—Because Nothing Says ‘Trust’ Like Surveillance

Big ElephantFebruary 2, 2026February 2, 2026

Breaking: Trump DHS Finally Embraces Body Cams—Guess the Swamp Rats Were Getting Nervous! Well, well, well—looks like even the swamp…

Stranger Things: Tales From ‘85 Drops First Teaser That Will Haunt Your Dreams (And Your WiFi)
Breaking, Movie News

Stranger Things: Tales From ‘85 Drops First Teaser That Will Haunt Your Dreams (And Your WiFi)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 2, 2026February 2, 2026

Netflix Unleashes Animated Stranger Things: Tales From ’85 — Because Clearly We Needed More Upside Down Drama Well, well, well…

GODSMACK & STONE TEMPLE PILOTS Join Forces for 2026 Tour: Because Rock Needs a Lazarus Moment
Breaking, Live, Music News

GODSMACK & STONE TEMPLE PILOTS Join Forces for 2026 Tour: Because Rock Needs a Lazarus Moment

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 2, 2026February 2, 2026

In news that will shock absolutely no one, multi-platinum rock titans GODSMACK have announced their latest attempt to prove that…

‘It’s not because we have bigger guns’: Minneapolis’ poet laureate reveals why ICE got its feelings hurt | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

‘It’s not because we have bigger guns’: Minneapolis’ poet laureate reveals why ICE got its feelings hurt | CNN

Big ElephantJanuary 31, 2026January 31, 2026

Minneapolis Just Showed Trump What Real Resistance Looks Like Well, well, well, looks like the liberal snowflakes in Minneapolis just…

CNN’s Don Lemon Found in Custody, Probably Just Wanted a Better Guest List
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s Don Lemon Found in Custody, Probably Just Wanted a Better Guest List

Big ElephantJanuary 30, 2026January 30, 2026

Breaking: Don Lemon Gets Arrested While Trying to Be the Next MLK (Spoiler: He Failed) Well, well, well… look who…

CNN’s Manu Raju Explains the Deal to Keep Uncle Sam from Getting Evicted
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s Manu Raju Explains the Deal to Keep Uncle Sam from Getting Evicted

Big ElephantJanuary 29, 2026January 29, 2026

Oh look, the swamp creatures finally agreed on something—keeping the gravy train running while they bicker over how to handle…

Trump’s ICE Phobia: The Art of the Squeal
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s ICE Phobia: The Art of the Squeal

Big ElephantJanuary 29, 2026January 29, 2026

Well folks, looks like the Big Beautiful Wall just got a little shorter – and not from any construction delays!…

Sen. Padilla: ‘How many more citizens need to die’ for GOP to finally grow a spine and tell Trump, ‘No more playing dictator with DHS!’
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Sen. Padilla: ‘How many more citizens need to die’ for GOP to finally grow a spine and tell Trump, ‘No more playing dictator with DHS!’

Big ElephantJanuary 29, 2026January 29, 2026

Oh look, another whiny Democrat who thinks ICE is the problem instead of the actual criminals invading our country! Senator…

Minneapolis Turns Into Frozen Tundra of Chaos as Protesters Face the Ice Cold Grip of Detention!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Minneapolis Turns Into Frozen Tundra of Chaos as Protesters Face the Ice Cold Grip of Detention!

Big ElephantJanuary 29, 2026January 29, 2026

Breaking: Chaos Erupts in Minneapolis as Soros-Backed “Protesters” Get Their Just Desserts! Minneapolis police did what every red-blooded American wishes…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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