HELIX’s BRIAN VOLLMER Says Retirement Is For People Who Can’t Rock An Air Guitar In Their Sleep
HELIX’s Brian Vollmer, 70-something and still belting like a banshee who just found out her favorite coffee shop switched to…
Tag: Insurance
Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Barry Keoghan, and Halle Berry go to acting school and come out as criminals
🚨 BREAKING: Chris Hemsworth Decides to Rob People Instead of Playing Thor Again 🦸♂️💥 In a shocking turn of events…
PAUL DI’ANNO Left Us a Live Album Because Apparently Dying Wasn’t Enough Drama
The Metal Messiah’s Posthumous Encore: Paul Di’Anno’s Ghost Band Drops Live Album from Beyond the Grave 🎤⚰️ In a move…
Luigi Mangione’s Lawyers Claim Bondi’s Death Penalty Move Was Just a Bad Match Made in Judicial Hell
Leftist Deep State Weaponizes Death Penalty Against Innocent Man Because He Dared to Kill an Insurance Executive In a shocking…
Unlock Your Inner Trauma Whisperer and Profit with the EMPR Method
🚨 BREAKING: Local Woman Discovers Magic Wand for Trauma—30K Clients Beware! OMG, the sky is falling and everyone’s anxious! 😱…
GWAR Crawls Out of Sewer to Terrorize America Again with SOULFLY and KING PARROT in 2026
🚨 BREAKING: The End Of Days Is Coming (Again), And It’s Touring North America With A Merch Table 🚨 In…
AC/DC’s PHIL RUDD Finally Joins March 2026 ‘Full Metal Orchestra’ Because Apparently They Couldn’t Book A Drum Machine
Cue the thunderous roar of a thousand kettles boiling in unison — Phil Rudd, the human metronome with a criminal…
Rainbow Six Siege Devs Survived a Decade and Still Haven’t Fixed That One Glitch You Hate
When Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six Siege launched a decade ago, nobody expected it to outlive its launch trailer, let alone…
JOHN COOPER: SKILLET’s New Album Will Prog-It-Up Like A Crockpot Full Of Metal
SKILLET Frontman John Cooper Drops Bombshell: “We Might Do Something Cool in 2026… Maybe. If We Remember.” 🎸💥 In a…
The Obamacare Year-End Panic: Because Nothing Says Democracy Like Last-Minute Legislative Gymnastics
Obamacare Premiums Set to Explode: Democrats Blame Republicans for Not Fixing Law They Voted For Themselves In a stunning twist…