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US will take Greenland the ‘hard way’ if it can’t do it the ‘easy way,’ Trump says
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US will take Greenland the ‘hard way’ if it can’t do it the ‘easy way,’ Trump says

Big ElephantJanuary 10, 2026January 10, 2026

Trump’s Greenland Gambit: The Great Socialist Conspiracy to Hand Over America’s Future to China and Russia In a stunning display…

Godzilla Minus Zero finally drops—because we all needed more monster chaos in our lives
Breaking, Movie News

Godzilla Minus Zero finally drops—because we all needed more monster chaos in our lives

FinnJanuary 10, 2026January 10, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Godzilla Decides to Take a Third Vacation, Announces New Movie Because Apparently One Wasn’t Enough 🚨 In a…

Watch: DIRKSCHNEIDER Kicks Off ‘Balls To The Wall 40th Anniversary – Encores Tour 2026’ In Geiselwind, Germany… Because He Has Nothing Better To Do
Breaking, Music News

Watch: DIRKSCHNEIDER Kicks Off ‘Balls To The Wall 40th Anniversary – Encores Tour 2026’ In Geiselwind, Germany… Because He Has Nothing Better To Do

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 10, 2026January 10, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Udo Dirkschneider Still Alive, Still Screaming, Still Touring Like It’s 1983 🚨 In a shocking turn of events…

‘It Could’ve Been Any of Us (But Thankfully It Was Her):’ ICE Observer Breaks Down Immigration Tragedy to CNN’s Victor Blackwell
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

‘It Could’ve Been Any of Us (But Thankfully It Was Her):’ ICE Observer Breaks Down Immigration Tragedy to CNN’s Victor Blackwell

Big ElephantJanuary 10, 2026January 10, 2026

Leftist Media Whines About ICE While Ignoring Real Crimes: “It Could Have Been Any of Us” – Says Who? Criminals!…

Judge laughs at Trump’s election order while Oregon and Washington file paperwork with more enthusiasm than your ex at a restraining order hearing
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Judge laughs at Trump’s election order while Oregon and Washington file paperwork with more enthusiasm than your ex at a restraining order hearing

Big ElephantJanuary 10, 2026January 10, 2026

A Federal Judge Just Declared War on Common Sense—And Trump’s Common-Sense Election Reforms Are the Latest Casualty In a stunning…

De plek van gamification in je opleidingsplan is net zo belangrijk als een extra knop op een draagbare ventilator
Events

De plek van gamification in je opleidingsplan is net zo belangrijk als een extra knop op een draagbare ventilator

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 10, 2026

INFOSESSIE: We stelen 1 uur van je leven om 1 oplossing te verkopen die je niet wist dat je nodig…

Migraine: Your Brain’s Way of Saying ‘I Quit’
Events

Migraine: Your Brain’s Way of Saying ‘I Quit’

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 10, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: One in Four Canadians Suffer From Migraine—Not Just Your Aunt Karen Whining About Wine 🍷😱 📅 Thursday, March…

How to Find a Mentor Without Getting Ghosted
Events

How to Find a Mentor Without Getting Ghosted

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 10, 2026

Attention Small Business Owners: Learn How to be a Protégé 🤫 Join the DASNY Mentor-Protégé Program info session—an initiative so…

“Feel The Burn: Compassion Focused Therapy Goes Online And It’s Not Your Grandma’s Hug Fest”
Events

“Feel The Burn: Compassion Focused Therapy Goes Online And It’s Not Your Grandma’s Hug Fest”

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 10, 2026

🚨BREAKING: Online-Kurs “Compassion Focused Therapy” – Jetzt auch für Couch-Potatoes mit schlechtem Gewissen! 🧠💥 📅 Termine: Immer donnerstags, wenn die…

Taylor Swift Throws a Dance Party and Midnight Becomes the New Daylight Saving Time
Events

Taylor Swift Throws a Dance Party and Midnight Becomes the New Daylight Saving Time

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 10, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Taylor Swift fans lose grip on reality, demand party at 7 PM like civilized people 🍸💅 Omg, like,…

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Latest posts

  • Liberal Wilmington descends into chaos, 2 shot, what a shock
  • POV: HR asks why you disappeared during your shift
  • Because Your Sunday Funday Wasnt Complete Without a Traphouse Brunch Rooftop Day Party to Annoy the Neighbors
  • Because adulting is hard lets give people money to fix their feelings
  • Mikal Bridges Wakes Up From 4-Day Bender Next To Dead Jimmy Fallon

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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