Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: It

Oh look, turns out Trump’s tariffs are just a fancy way of making Americans pay for their own wallets to be lighter!
The Tariffs Are Working! Oh Wait, They're Not
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oh look, turns out Trump’s tariffs are just a fancy way of making Americans pay for their own wallets to be lighter!

Big ElephantFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

Well, well, well, look who’s finally admitting what we’ve known all along! The deep state at the Federal Reserve Bank…

Minneapolis Enforcement Surge Ends, Leaving State and DHS Officials Sweating Bullets in Senate Hot Seat
Minnesota Dems Cower as Border Czar Homan Calls Off Liberal Snowflake Protest Circus
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Minneapolis Enforcement Surge Ends, Leaving State and DHS Officials Sweating Bullets in Senate Hot Seat

Big ElephantFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

After months of liberal tantrums and fake news hysteria, President Trump’s tough border czar Tom Homan has mercifully announced the…

Nicolas Cage is Back to Ruin Spider-Noir Like Only He Can
Breaking, Movie News

Nicolas Cage is Back to Ruin Spider-Noir Like Only He Can

FinnFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

Oh great, another day, another Spider-Man spin-off nobody asked for—but this time, Nicolas Cage is swinging in like a drunken…

SUZI QUATRO, At 75, Still Rocking Like She Owes the Grim Reaper Rent: ‘You Can’t Get Rid Of Me Yet’
Suzi Quatro: Still Rocking at 75, and Yes, Her Ass Still Shakes
Breaking, Music News

SUZI QUATRO, At 75, Still Rocking Like She Owes the Grim Reaper Rent: ‘You Can’t Get Rid Of Me Yet’

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

In a shocking revelation that has absolutely no one surprised, Suzi Quatro has announced she’s still got it at 75.…

California Schemin’ – McAvoy’s Directorial Debut: Watch the Trailer That’ll Make You Say “Aye, McAvoy!”
Oh look, another "based on a true story" film that’s probably 80% fiction and 20% "we saw it on TikTok once"
Breaking, Movie News

California Schemin’ – McAvoy’s Directorial Debut: Watch the Trailer That’ll Make You Say “Aye, McAvoy!”

FinnFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

STUDIOCANAL, the company that clearly has too much money and not enough original ideas, has graced us with a brand-new…

NEVERMORE Unleashes Phoenix-Wielding New Lineup, Signs with REIGNING PHOENIX MUSIC Because Why Not
NEVERMORE Returns From The Dead, Because Apparently Money And Music Still Exist
Breaking, Music News

NEVERMORE Unleashes Phoenix-Wielding New Lineup, Signs with REIGNING PHOENIX MUSIC Because Why Not

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

In a stunning revelation that absolutely no one saw coming, NEVERMORE has resurrected itself from the grave of broken bands…

Diablo 30th Anniversary Spotlight: Warlock Class Finally Arrives to Ruin Your Build—Again!
The Warlock Has Arrived: Diablo's 30th Birthday Bash Brings More Demons Than Your Ex's Group Chat
Breaking, Games News

Diablo 30th Anniversary Spotlight: Warlock Class Finally Arrives to Ruin Your Build—Again!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

Well, well, well… Diablo just turned 30, and instead of buying it a nice bottle of whiskey, Blizzard decided to…

HGTV Cancels Rehab Addict Because Host’s Vocabulary Was the Only Thing in Need of a Makeover
Breaking

HGTV Cancels Rehab Addict Because Host’s Vocabulary Was the Only Thing in Need of a Makeover

FinnFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

HGTV, the network that brings you hours of people arguing about granite countertops, has decided to renovate its own reputation…

Gallup Throws in the Towel on Presidential Tracking Poll, Proving Even Polls Are Over This Election Cycle
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Gallup Throws in the Towel on Presidential Tracking Poll, Proving Even Polls Are Over This Election Cycle

Big ElephantFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

Look Who’s Giving Up! Gallup Finally Throws in the Towel on Trump Approval Polls! Oh, the irony! Gallup, that once…

Gov Shutdown Alert: DHS About to Go Dark—Guess Who’s Still Guarding the Border? No One!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Gov Shutdown Alert: DHS About to Go Dark—Guess Who’s Still Guarding the Border? No One!

Big ElephantFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

Prepare for the next “Democrats Shutdown Showdown!” as America’s heroic President Trump fights off the liberal leeches trying to cripple…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 266 267 268 … 591 Next

Latest posts

  • Paxton Calmly Tells Republicans To Stop Freaking Out Already
  • Murdaugh Drama Heads to Charleston Maybe
  • Feds Spying on Minnesota Progressives Because Who Needs Privacy Anyway
  • Trump Gives Corporations License To Hack Around
  • Selena Gomez’s Mental Health Startup Apparently Needs Therapy Itself

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.