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Speed Dating for Singles Ages 21-35: The Desperate Search for a Replacement for Your Last Three Exes
Live

Speed Dating for Singles Ages 21-35: The Desperate Search for a Replacement for Your Last Three Exes

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 4, 2026

Attention all single people who still think love can be found in a spreadsheet: Indianapolis is hosting a speed dating…

Disney’s Lorcana Challenge Kicks Off With Zero Magical Powers Found in Adults
Live

Disney’s Lorcana Challenge Kicks Off With Zero Magical Powers Found in Adults

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 4, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Tiny Humans Can Now Enter Con for Free (If They’re Chaperoned by a Grownup Who Probably Regrets It)…

When Eleven Becomes a Netflix Stock Tip: The Real End of Stranger Things
Breaking, Movie News

When Eleven Becomes a Netflix Stock Tip: The Real End of Stranger Things

FinnJanuary 4, 2026January 4, 2026

🚨BREAKING NEWS: ELEVEN FROM STRANGER THINGS IS *DEFINITELY* ALIVE (OR MAYBE NOT, WHO KNOWS, WE’RE ALL JUST LOST SOULS DRIFTING…

MORTAL SIN’s MAT MAURER Confirms New Music: ‘It’s Been Discussed’ (Translation: ‘We’ve Talked About It Over Beer’)
Breaking, Music News

MORTAL SIN’s MAT MAURER Confirms New Music: ‘It’s Been Discussed’ (Translation: ‘We’ve Talked About It Over Beer’)

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 4, 2026January 4, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Mortal Sin Announces 2026 Return — Because Apparently 15 Years of Peace Wasn’t Enough 🚨 In a move…

From Amazon Prime to Guantanamo Express: How Uncle Sam Got His Hands on Maduro
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

From Amazon Prime to Guantanamo Express: How Uncle Sam Got His Hands on Maduro

Big ElephantJanuary 4, 2026January 4, 2026

Trump’s Midnight Raid: How the ‘Adults’ Got Played by a Reality TV Star in a Gold Bathroom In a move…

Heal Your Life in 7 Days for $397 or Your Money Back
Live

Heal Your Life in 7 Days for $397 or Your Money Back

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 4, 2026

Behold, the greatest event that ever ended before it even began! 🎉 Children of Infinity promised a mystical 7-day healing…

PGCAC 2025 Football & Brunch Watch Party: Because Nothing Says Touchdowns Like Overcooked Eggs and Questionable Life Choices
Live

PGCAC 2025 Football & Brunch Watch Party: Because Nothing Says Touchdowns Like Overcooked Eggs and Questionable Life Choices

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 3, 2026

🏈 The Commanders are playing the Eagles on Sunday, January 4, 2026, at Famous Lounge Restaurant, 5010 Brown Station Road,…

PGCAC 2025 Football & Brunch Watch Party — Where the Snacks Are Hot and the Takes Are Hotter
Live

PGCAC 2025 Football & Brunch Watch Party — Where the Snacks Are Hot and the Takes Are Hotter

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 3, 2026

🏈🚨 ATTENTION, FROZEN WARRIORS OF UPPER MARLBORO! 🚨🏈 On Sunday, January 4, 2026, we’ll gather at Famous Lounge Restaurant (5010…

Level One Improv: Where Your Life Choices Lead to Making It Up As You Go
Live

Level One Improv: Where Your Life Choices Lead to Making It Up As You Go

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 3, 2026

🔥 “Intro to Improv” – Because Apparently, Some People Still Think “Yes, And…” Is a Life Strategy 🎭 In a…

CSWEP 2026 Business Meeting & Award Ceremony Luncheon 1/4/2026
Live

CSWEP 2026 Business Meeting & Award Ceremony Luncheon 1/4/2026

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 3, 2026

Eventbrite fails to sell tickets for CSWEP 2026 luncheon – again, because apparently they hate women in economics. Eventbrite, the…

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