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Democrat’s Brainwave: A+ Plan to Save the Dems (Spoiler: It Involves Rainbows and Unicorns)
Elephant Reads CNN

Democrat’s Brainwave: A+ Plan to Save the Dems (Spoiler: It Involves Rainbows and Unicorns)

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Oh, no! The Deep State’s funding is being cut! How will they push their woke agenda now? Of course, the…

DOJ Gets Rid of Some Lawyers Who Maybe Didn’t Salute Hard Enough
Elephant Reads CNN

DOJ Gets Rid of Some Lawyers Who Maybe Didn’t Salute Hard Enough

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Another day, another deep state purge! President Trump is STILL draining the swamp, folks! These so-called “senior antitrust attorneys” probably…

Upcoming Horror Game I Hate This Place: More Like I Hate This Game, Am I Right
Breaking, Games News

Upcoming Horror Game I Hate This Place: More Like I Hate This Game, Am I Right

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Oh, great, another survival horror game! 🙄 As if we needed more jump scares and poorly optimized gameplay. Broken Mirror…

The Sims 4 Uses FKA twigs’ Music Video to Trick You Into Buying More Stuff
Breaking, Games News

The Sims 4 Uses FKA twigs’ Music Video to Trick You Into Buying More Stuff

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Ah, yes, The Sims 4: Enchanted by Nature, the expansion pack so “enchanting” it had to bribe FKA twigs to…

MCU’s X-Men: Now With 90% More Teen Angst, Says Guy Who Should Know
Breaking, Movie News

MCU’s X-Men: Now With 90% More Teen Angst, Says Guy Who Should Know

FinnJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because Kevin “The Manipulator” Feige has spoken! 🗣️ And guess what? He’s got *another* X-Men movie…

‘2000 Meters to Nowhere’: A CNN Photo Op in Ukraine’s Ongoing Totally-Not-a-Stalemate
Elephant Reads CNN

‘2000 Meters to Nowhere’: A CNN Photo Op in Ukraine’s Ongoing Totally-Not-a-Stalemate

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Another tear-jerker from the Fake News CNN, folks! This time, they’re pushing a “documentary” about Ukrainian soldiers. I bet it’s…

Ozzy’s Dead, Charts Go Wild: A Post-Mortem Billboard Bonanza
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy’s Dead, Charts Go Wild: A Post-Mortem Billboard Bonanza

Chord F. DiscordJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

According to Billboard.com, two of Ozzy Osbourne’s classic songs (and by “classic” we mean, like, kinda old) have FINALLY made…

OMG! Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein is ALIVE (and kinda fugly) Check Out the Pics!
Breaking, Movie News

OMG! Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein is ALIVE (and kinda fugly) Check Out the Pics!

FinnJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Oh, HONEY! 💅Another Frankenstein? Seriously? 🙄 Like we haven’t seen this story retold more times than there are filters on…

Colorado Dentist’s Trial: Did He Really Off His Wife With Poison or Was It Just a Bad Root Canal
Elephant Reads CNN

Colorado Dentist’s Trial: Did He Really Off His Wife With Poison or Was It Just a Bad Root Canal

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Another day, another Deep State plot foiled… or at least, exposed for what it is! They’re trying to frame a…

Mario Paint on Switch: Prepare to Unleash Your Inner Picasso (With a Mouse, Seriously?)
Breaking, Games News

Mario Paint on Switch: Prepare to Unleash Your Inner Picasso (With a Mouse, Seriously?)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Oh, JOY! 🤩 The illustrious Nintendo Switch Online is gracing us, the unwashed masses, with… Mario Paint. Yes, you read…

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Latest posts

  • OMG 007 First Light Sells a Whopping 1.5 Million Copies in 24 Hours Because Who Needs a Social Life Anyway IOI Already Drooling Over Your Money for the First Content Update
  • ALICE COOPER Rips A.I to Shreds Because Apparently His Music Wasnt Robotic Enough Already
  • When the bassist insists on doing vocals too 🎤
  • Liberal Democrat’s sex scandal exposed, who’s surprised
  • Liberal losers wonder which RINO sells out Texas next

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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