MY DYING BRIDE Finally Kicks Out Vocalist (Who Even Knew He Was Still In the Band?)
MY DYING BRIDE, the band that makes funerals sound like a rave, has finally decided to ditch their lead singer,…
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CNN Wonders: Can We Give Trump a Nobel Prize So He’ll Finally Shut Up
The liberal media is clutching their pearls again because President Trump is on the verge of winning a Nobel Peace…
‘Minecraft Movie’ Sequel Officially Plaguing Theaters in 2027
OMG! 😱 The biggest cinematic masterpiece 🎬 of our generation, A Minecraft Movie, raked in a measly $423.9 million in…
The Fed’s “Totally Got This” Plan: Inflation Still Kicking Our Butts
Oh, the Fed, those Deep State bureaucrats, meddling in our glorious Trump economy! They cut rates a “quarter point” –…
AI: Savior or Overhyped Bubble Waiting to Burst and Ruin Your Portfolio
Another day, another liberal doomsday prediction! CNN, still whining even with President Trump leading us to unprecedented prosperity. Now they’re…
White House throws epic side-eye at Colombian Prez’s wild tale of Yankee boat brawl off Venezuela
Another day, another socialist South American leader whining about America! President Petro of Colombia is now claiming that our strikes…
Ice Nine Kills Drools Over ’89 Batman, Churns Out Another Generic Track for Clueless Fanboys
ICE NINE KILLS, those maestros of musical mayhem, 🤡 invite you to “dance with the devil in the pale moonlight”…
Burton needs to C. the BELL, announces more talking, again
Former FEAR FACTORY vocalist, the one and only Burton C. Bell (yes, THAT Burton C. Bell), has graced us with…
Andrew Garfield “Teases” Possible Spider-Man Comeback (Again?!) in the Year 2027 (Maybe, Possibly, If You Really, Really Beg)
🤣Oh, look, it’s Andrew Garfield, still pretending he doesn’t know if he’s going to be in Avengers: Secret Wars. As…
Larian Studios Director Hilariously Roasts Elon Musk’s Pathetic Attempt at Gaming Domination
Oh, honey, buckle up buttercups! 💅 Elon “Technoking” Musk, fresh off renaming Twitter to “X” because…reasons? 🤔 …is now gracing…