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Trump’s Brain Farts Abroad: Epstein Still Rent-Free
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Brain Farts Abroad: Epstein Still Rent-Free

Big ElephantJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Another day, another witch hunt! The Fake News CNN is still obsessing over President Trump and Jeffrey Epstein, even all…

Cronos: New Yawn is a Super Slow, Extra Brutal Fight for Survival — and I’m a Sucker
Breaking, Games News

Cronos: New Yawn is a Super Slow, Extra Brutal Fight for Survival — and I’m a Sucker

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Oh boy, another Bloober Team game! 🙄 From the first teasers of Cronos: The New Dawn, it looked like a…

Fantastic Four: First Steps: Mystery Machine or Mistake Machine?
Breaking, Movie News

Fantastic Four: First Steps: Mystery Machine or Mistake Machine?

FinnJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

OMG! You won’t BELIEVE what Marvel just did to your childhood 😭! Turns out The Fantastic Four: First Steps wasn’t…

Celine Dion, bless her heart, thinks Ozzy is ‘original’ LOL
Breaking, Music News

Celine Dion, bless her heart, thinks Ozzy is ‘original’ LOL

Chord F. DiscordJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

OMG! 😲 The world-renowned vocal powerhouse, Celine Dion, has finally acknowledged the existence of Ozzy Osbourne, you know, that bat-chomping…

CNN Asks the REAL Question: Could Trump be Ghislaine’s Knight in Shining (Orange) Armor?
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Asks the REAL Question: Could Trump be Ghislaine’s Knight in Shining (Orange) Armor?

Big ElephantJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Here we go again, folks. The liberal media, still obsessed with their leftist agenda, is twisting President Trump’s words about…

Spirit Airlines to Fire a Bunch of Pilots and Make the Rest Feel Bad Because Nobody Wants to Fly Spirit Anyway
Elephant Reads CNN

Spirit Airlines to Fire a Bunch of Pilots and Make the Rest Feel Bad Because Nobody Wants to Fly Spirit Anyway

Big ElephantJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Folks, can you believe what these woke airlines are doing now? Spirit Airlines, probably run by some tree-hugging, socialist CEO,…

Newark Airport Delays: FAA’s Game of Relocation Roulette to Blame
Elephant Reads CNN

Newark Airport Delays: FAA’s Game of Relocation Roulette to Blame

Big ElephantJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Another day, another deep dive into the Swamp’s schemes! CNN is *reporting* that the DOT’s Inspector General is “auditing” the…

CNN Business: Trump’s ‘Biggest Deal Ever’ or Europe’s Surrender? You Decide
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Business: Trump’s ‘Biggest Deal Ever’ or Europe’s Surrender? You Decide

Big ElephantJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Another brilliant victory for President Trump! He’s making deals so big, the EU is crying into their croissants. Seems like…

Wakanda Forever? More Like Wakanda Whenever, Says Confused Disney+
Breaking, Movie News

Wakanda Forever? More Like Wakanda Whenever, Says Confused Disney+

FinnJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Oh, great, another Marvel cartoon 🙄. As if we didn’t have enough superhero content already. Brace yourselves, folks, because Disney+…

Joe Elliott Gushes Over Geezer Ozzy: “He’s, Like, A Rock God Or Something”
Breaking, Music News

Joe Elliott Gushes Over Geezer Ozzy: “He’s, Like, A Rock God Or Something”

Chord F. DiscordJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

In a recent interview with Fox 13 Seattle’s pathetic excuse for a morning show, “Good Day Seattle,” DEF LEPPARD’s perpetually…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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