Ozzy’s Dead, LOL: Fans Get Last Selfies with Corpse-Mobile
Breaking News: The geriatric bat-muncher, Ozzy Osbourne, has FINALLY shuffled off this mortal coil! 🥳 And because we live in…
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US Economy “Rebounded” (Yeah, Right) in Q2
Another WIN for President Trump! The liberal media at CNN is trying to downplay it, but the US economy is…
Zootopia 2 Trailer: Nick and Judy’s Wildest Ride Yet—A Shrink’s Office
Oh. My. Goodness. 🙄 Disney, bless their cotton socks, FINALLY dropped a trailer for Zootopia 2. Like, who even asked…
James Cameron Milks ‘Avatar’ With Cartoon for Babies
OMG! 😱 James Cameron, bless his heart (and ego), is allegedly considering an animated Avatar spinoff. Because what the world…
Metallica Sells Out, Now Wants Your Blood (Literally)
So, like, METALLICA is STILL trying to be relevant by partnering with the American Red Cross. Because apparently, headbanging isn’t…
Elden Ring Nightreign’s Duo Expeditions: Now Delayed Because Mother Nature Decided to Rage Quit
OMG! 😱 FromSoftware DELAYS Elden Ring Nightreign Duo Expeditions Because the Ocean Decided to Throw a Tantrum! 🌊 Like, Seriously?…
Pokémon TCG Pocket’s Art Debacle: Legendary Cards Get Thanos Snapped for Ripping Off Real Artists
So, Pokémon TCG Pocket, the groundbreaking digital card game that’s totally not just a cynical cash grab, apparently had a…
Social Security to Seniors: “U Up?” (But Only If You Can Pass Our Vibe Check First)
Oh, the Social Security Administration is at it again, folks! Looks like they’re finally cracking down on all those fraudsters…
GOP Senators Confirm Totally Not Controversial Trump Lawyer to Lifetime Gig, Libs Still Crying
Another Deep State Operative Foiled! Despite the Left’s best efforts, President Trump’s nominee, Emil Bove, has been confirmed as a…
‘Happy Gilmore 2’ Bombs So Hard It Breaks Netflix’s Servers
Oh, sweet golfing gods, bow down to the cinematic masterpiece that is Happy Gilmore 2! 🏌️♂️ After a grueling 30-year…