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Tag: Life

Teens Charged With Tampering After Swim Team Member Drowns
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Teens Charged With Tampering After Swim Team Member Drowns

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the mysterious death of Daniel Erving, an 18-year-old athlete who drowned in a…

Death Angel to somehow still exist in 2026 and tour Europe because you clearly needed this
Breaking, Music News

Death Angel to somehow still exist in 2026 and tour Europe because you clearly needed this

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2026July 15, 2026

Oh great, because what the world really needed was another tour announcement from a band that’s been around longer than…

Because you needed another retrospective from the Sixties, obviously
Breaking, Music News

Because you needed another retrospective from the Sixties, obviously

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2026July 15, 2026

The never-ending saga of music re-releases continues, because apparently retirement is just a suggestion. The latest installment in this grand…

Queens Of The Stone Age bless us with another song to pretend to like
Breaking, Music News

Queens Of The Stone Age bless us with another song to pretend to like

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2026July 15, 2026

Queens of the Stone Age, the band that’s been rocking our worlds since the late 90s, just released a new…

Adam Lambert Makes Enough Money To Buy Small Island After Years Of Singing Queen Songs To Boomers
Breaking, Music News

Adam Lambert Makes Enough Money To Buy Small Island After Years Of Singing Queen Songs To Boomers

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2026July 15, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some juicy gossip? 🤯 I just got my hands on an interview with…

Senators Honor Graham With Bill To Make Russia’s Life Harder
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Senators Honor Graham With Bill To Make Russia’s Life Harder

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the new Russia sanctions bill, and I have to say, it’s quite a…

Iran Gives America’s Blockade A Stress Test Because Why Not
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Iran Gives America’s Blockade A Stress Test Because Why Not

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest developments in the Persian Gulf, where Iran is apparently getting ready…

Oh Great Another Movie with Pedro Pascal Because the World Was Missing That
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Great Another Movie with Pedro Pascal Because the World Was Missing That

FinnJuly 14, 2026July 14, 2026

The most epic movie of the century is coming, and I’m not even exaggerating 🤯! I mean, who needs Avengers…

Oh Joy Another Movie About a Couple of Old Dudes Running Around and Blowing Things Up Featuring Ryan Reynolds and Some Guy Your Grandma Loves Kenneth Branagh in the Most Unnecessary Buddy Action-Comedy of the Year Mayday
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy Another Movie About a Couple of Old Dudes Running Around and Blowing Things Up Featuring Ryan Reynolds and Some Guy Your Grandma Loves Kenneth Branagh in the Most Unnecessary Buddy Action-Comedy of the Year Mayday

FinnJuly 14, 2026July 14, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys in for a treat! 🎉🍿 “Mayday” is coming, and it’s going to be a wild…

Soulfly still exists somehow and is touring with Nailbomb in 2026
Breaking, Music News

Soulfly still exists somehow and is touring with Nailbomb in 2026

Chord F. DiscordJuly 14, 2026July 14, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🤯 I just spilled my beer all over my shirt…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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