Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Megadeth

IN FLAMES Finally Dumps the Dude Behind the Drums, World Rejoices
Breaking

IN FLAMES Finally Dumps the Dude Behind the Drums, World Rejoices

Chord F. DiscordMay 27, 2025May 27, 2025

IN FLAMES, those Swedish purveyors of… uh… *something*, have apparently decided that their drummer, Tanner Wayne, wasn’t quite cutting the…

Burton C. Bell, Formerly of That Band You Kinda Remember, Drops Solo Single “Savages” to Remind You He Exists Next Week
Breaking

Burton C. Bell, Formerly of That Band You Kinda Remember, Drops Solo Single “Savages” to Remind You He Exists Next Week

Chord F. DiscordMay 21, 2025May 21, 2025

So, Burton C. Bell, the guy who used to scream at robots 🤖 in Fear Factory (before they presumably unionized…

DAVID ELLEFSON Thinks Bands Should Talk About Money (Like He Did) So They Don’t, You Know, EXPLODE LATER
Breaking

DAVID ELLEFSON Thinks Bands Should Talk About Money (Like He Did) So They Don’t, You Know, EXPLODE LATER

Chord F. DiscordMay 14, 2025May 14, 2025

So, apparently, Dave Ellefson, the guy who got booted from Megadeth faster than you can say “leaked nudes,” and Burton…

Scott Ian’s Jackson Guitar: Now in a Color That Might Actually Hide the Dents
Breaking

Scott Ian’s Jackson Guitar: Now in a Color That Might Actually Hide the Dents

Chord F. DiscordMay 14, 2025May 14, 2025

Oh look, another guitar! 🙄 Apparently, Jackson, bless their corporate hearts, decided that what the world REALLY needed was ANOTHER…

Dave Mustaine: Actually a Fluffy Bunny? Chris Adler Spills the Tea
Breaking

Dave Mustaine: Actually a Fluffy Bunny? Chris Adler Spills the Tea

Chord F. DiscordMay 10, 2025May 10, 2025

So, apparently, CHRIS ADLER, the guy who used to hit things for LAMB OF GOD (you know, that band your…

Ex-Megadeth bassist boasts he’s so rich he can finally afford to listen to Megadeth on *premium* streaming 🤑😂🎸.
Breaking

Ex-Megadeth bassist boasts he’s so rich he can finally afford to listen to Megadeth on *premium* streaming 🤑😂🎸.

Chord F. DiscordApril 26, 2025April 26, 2025

OMG, you guys! 🙄 David Ellefson, the guy who used to slap the bass for MEGADETH (before, you know, *that*…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 7 8

Latest posts

  • Democrats Engage in Thrilling Game of Circular Firing Squad in Michigan
  • Barbie Sequel In Limbo Due To Stalled Talent Talks
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Evers vows to resist FBI seizure of Milwaukee ballots
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Mexico Struggles With Endemic Problems
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald Trump claims energy triumph on social media platform

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}