Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Metal Bands

Evan Seinfeld Still Breathing After Biohazard Reunion
Breaking, Music News

Evan Seinfeld Still Breathing After Biohazard Reunion

Chord F. DiscordOctober 18, 2026October 18, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some nostalgia overload? 🤯 Because I just got word that BIOHAZARD is back…

TOM MORELLO mansplains politics to metal bands again
Breaking, Music News

TOM MORELLO mansplains politics to metal bands again

Chord F. DiscordOctober 9, 2026October 10, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🤯 Tom Morello, the legendary guitarist of Rage Against the…

FLOOR JANSEN Makes Album Without NIGHTWISH Baggage Finally
Breaking, Music News

FLOOR JANSEN Makes Album Without NIGHTWISH Baggage Finally

Chord F. DiscordOctober 5, 2026October 5, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, NIGHTWISH singer Floor Jansen has announced her upcoming studio album, “Hytress”, which is set…

TED LUNDSTRÖM Hates Money And Success Apparently
Breaking, Music News

TED LUNDSTRÖM Hates Money And Success Apparently

Chord F. DiscordOctober 5, 2026October 5, 2026

OH MY GOD, AMON AMARTH’S TED LUNDSTRÖM JUST SAID THE MOST PROFOUND THING EVER AND I’M SHAKING RIGHT NOW 🤯!…

Chuck Billy Still Somehow Relevant After 4 Decades of Screaming
Breaking, Music News

Chuck Billy Still Somehow Relevant After 4 Decades of Screaming

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 29, 2026September 29, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some mind-blowing news? 🤯 I just found out that Testament’s Chuck Billy has…

Primal Fear rejects form new band because why not
Breaking, Music News

Primal Fear rejects form new band because why not

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 26, 2026September 26, 2026

In a shocking turn of events that will surely change the course of metal history forever, former PRIMAL FEAR members…

Dragonforce Embarks On Quest To Shred What’s Left Of Europe’s Eardrums
Breaking, Music News

Dragonforce Embarks On Quest To Shred What’s Left Of Europe’s Eardrums

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 25, 2026September 25, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some face-melting, ear-bleeding, and possibly soul-crushing news? 🤯 Because I’ve got it right…

Megadeth somehow still relevant plays tiny rooftop show for industry elites
Breaking, Music News

Megadeth somehow still relevant plays tiny rooftop show for industry elites

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 25, 2026September 25, 2026

Oh no, you guys, MEGADETH just did a thing and I’m still trying to pick my jaw up from the…

Sharon Den Adel finally notices the world is a mess
Breaking, Music News

Sharon Den Adel finally notices the world is a mess

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 9, 2026September 13, 2026

Oh no, the world is ending and Sharon Den Adel from Within Temptation is here to save us with her…

King Diamond Finally Ditches Andy La Rocque After Years Of Tolerating His Solos
Breaking, Music News

King Diamond Finally Ditches Andy La Rocque After Years Of Tolerating His Solos

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 8, 2026September 13, 2026

I mean, who didn’t see this coming? KING DIAMOND’s longtime guitarist Andy La Rocque has left the band, and in…

Posts pagination

1 2 … 4 Next

Latest posts

  • ‘Now My Breasts Are Over Here,’ Announces Sydney Sweeney Peeking Out From Oak Tree
  • Moms freak out over kids’ electrifying school accessories apparently
  • Kacey Musgraves Drops New Album Tex Mex Tapes Vol 2
  • Zach Bryan, Tinashe, Iron Maiden and Matchbox Twenty tickets now available
  • El Estepario Siberiano Tackles Nine Inch Nails Live On The Spot

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.