Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: metal

Holy Drinkers of Brutal Assault – find yourself in the video!
Videos

Holy Drinkers of Brutal Assault – find yourself in the video!

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 14, 2025

True metalheads! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as β€œThe Sultan of Snark,” is a…

SEPULTURA’s Bassist Can’t Stop Gushing About Their New Drummer – Is This a Love Story?
Breaking, Music News

SEPULTURA’s Bassist Can’t Stop Gushing About Their New Drummer – Is This a Love Story?

Chord F. DiscordAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

So, apparently, SEPULTURA, the band that’s been threatening to retire since the dinosaurs roamed the Earth, has a new drummer.…

DREAM THEATER Releases Graphic Novel: Prepare for Maximum Prog-Nostalgia Induced Coma
Breaking, Music News

DREAM THEATER Releases Graphic Novel: Prepare for Maximum Prog-Nostalgia Induced Coma

Chord F. DiscordAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Oh, sweet merciful prog! πŸ™„ In October 2023, the planets aligned, the unicorns πŸ¦„ danced, and Mike Portnoy, after a…

ANTHRAX: Still Alive? Book Your Geriatric Metal Cruise Cabin Now!
Breaking, Live, Music News

ANTHRAX: Still Alive? Book Your Geriatric Metal Cruise Cabin Now!

Chord F. DiscordAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

Ahoy, shipmates! Get ready to drain your bank accounts πŸ’Έ because 70000 Tons Of Metal, the only metal cruise that…

Brutal Assault vibes!
Videos

Brutal Assault vibes!

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 11, 2025

When the metal crushes you Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as β€œThe Sultan of…

Epica’s Simone Simons Gushes Over Symphonic Metal: ‘It Blew My Tiny Mind’
Breaking, Music News

Epica’s Simone Simons Gushes Over Symphonic Metal: ‘It Blew My Tiny Mind’

Chord F. DiscordAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

In a recent interview with some dude from Brazil πŸ‡§πŸ‡· (who probably thinks samba is metal), EPICA’s vocal powerhouse, Simone…

Circle Pit on Pig Destroyer set (Brutal Assault 2025)
Videos

Circle Pit on Pig Destroyer set (Brutal Assault 2025)

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 10, 2025

That was epic! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as β€œThe Sultan of Snark,” is…

Dark funeral at Brutal Assault 2025 (08/09/2025)
Videos

Dark funeral at Brutal Assault 2025 (08/09/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 9, 2025

Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as β€œThe Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports…

The Halo effect at Brutal Assault 2025 (08/09/2025)
Videos

The Halo effect at Brutal Assault 2025 (08/09/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 9, 2025

Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as β€œThe Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports…

Opeth at Brutal Assault 2025 (08/09/2025)
Videos

Opeth at Brutal Assault 2025 (08/09/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 9, 2025

Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as β€œThe Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 118 119 120 … 174 Next

Latest posts

  • Stevie Nicks Brings Stand Back to Kimmel with Powerful Performance
  • Dolly Parton Leaves Behind Secret Song To Debut In 2045
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 26 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 26 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on August 26 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright Β© 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.