Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: metal

Chris Jericho thinks rock concerts need more life-sized egos on stage? πŸ™„πŸŽΈπŸŽ€
Breaking

Chris Jericho thinks rock concerts need more life-sized egos on stage? πŸ™„πŸŽΈπŸŽ€

Chord F. DiscordApril 26, 2025April 26, 2025

Breaking News! Chris Jericho, the Esteemed Thespian of Metal (and Wrestling), Drops Some Knowledge Bombs (and Maybe a Body Slam)…

So, Jonathan Davis from Korn is now screaming at ghosts in a haunted bar instead of just screaming into a microphone? πŸ€£πŸ‘»πŸŽ€
Breaking

So, Jonathan Davis from Korn is now screaming at ghosts in a haunted bar instead of just screaming into a microphone? πŸ€£πŸ‘»πŸŽ€

Chord F. DiscordApril 23, 2025April 23, 2025

OMG! 😱 Jonathan Davis from KORN, the guy who yells about daddy issues, is gonna hunt ghosts! πŸ‘» Is this…

Slaughter to Prevail drops “Grizzly,” probably about as ferocious as a Care Bear with a hangover 🐻😴.
Breaking

Slaughter to Prevail drops “Grizzly,” probably about as ferocious as a Care Bear with a hangover 🐻😴.

Chord F. DiscordApril 23, 2025April 23, 2025

Oh sweet mother of Putin, brace yourselves, comrades! πŸ‡·πŸ‡ΊπŸ» Your favorite Russian deathcore export, SLAUGHTER TO PREVAIL, is dropping their…

VOIVOD’s making a video game? ☒️ Probably just another reason to dust off your Atari, right? 🀣
Breaking

VOIVOD’s making a video game? ☒️ Probably just another reason to dust off your Atari, right? 🀣

Chord F. DiscordApril 23, 2025April 23, 2025

Oh, NOOOO! 😱 Voivod, those lovable weirdos from Canada, are BACK! And this time, they’re not just assaulting your eardrums…

So, Head from Korn wants the youths to ditch the mosh pit for a one-on-one with JC himself πŸ€˜πŸ˜‚πŸ™?
Breaking

So, Head from Korn wants the youths to ditch the mosh pit for a one-on-one with JC himself πŸ€˜πŸ˜‚πŸ™?

Chord F. DiscordApril 22, 2025April 22, 2025

Oh sweet baby Jesus, another washed-up rockstar finds religion! πŸ™„ Brian “Head” Welch, formerly of the oh-so-edgy KORN, sat down…

Exodus Guitarist Dares to Have an Opinion on Metallica, Instigating Metalhead Civil War 🀘πŸ”₯πŸ˜‚.
Breaking

Exodus Guitarist Dares to Have an Opinion on Metallica, Instigating Metalhead Civil War 🀘πŸ”₯πŸ˜‚.

Chord F. DiscordApril 22, 2025April 22, 2025

Oh, for the love of Lars! πŸ™„ Another “expert” weighs in on the eternal METALLICA debate. Radioactive MikeZ, bless his…

🍿 Popcorn, Tears, and Circle Pits: What Happened at the Minecraft Movie Screening in West Virginia?
🀘 Movie or Concert? Viewers Mistake Minecraft Movie for a Metal Festival!
Movie News

🍿 Popcorn, Tears, and Circle Pits: What Happened at the Minecraft Movie Screening in West Virginia?

FinnApril 10, 2025April 10, 2025

In West Virginia, a screening of “A Minecraft Movie” turned into a chaotic scene more reminiscent of a metal concert…

🀯 Dull Shirts’ Epic Sale: Heavy Metal Tees, 25% Off, and Zero Regrets!
🎸 Β«Exclusive for Metal Fans: Dull Shirts’ Insane Promo β€” Be Cool or Stay Basic!
Music News

🀯 Dull Shirts’ Epic Sale: Heavy Metal Tees, 25% Off, and Zero Regrets!

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 8, 2025January 8, 2025

Calling all heavy metal fans and lovers of sarcastic fashion: Β«Dull ShirtsΒ» has just declared war on boring outfits! If…

πŸ”„ From Bras to Beards: Life of Agony’s Singer Gets Back in the Testosterone Lane! 🎸
⚑ Mina Caputo Hits Β«ReverseΒ»: Gender Bender Goes Back to Keith! πŸ’₯
Music News

πŸ”„ From Bras to Beards: Life of Agony’s Singer Gets Back in the Testosterone Lane! 🎸

FinnNovember 20, 2024November 20, 2024

The world of rock has seen some strange plot twists, but few compare to the gender flip-flopping saga of Life…

🀘 Total Metal Meltdown: As I Lay Dying Guitarist Ditches Band After Tim’s Latest Shenanigans!
🧨 Can Tim Lambesis Keep a Band Together? As I Lay Dying Loses Yet Another Guitarist! 🧨
Music News

🀘 Total Metal Meltdown: As I Lay Dying Guitarist Ditches Band After Tim’s Latest Shenanigans!

FinnOctober 31, 2024October 31, 2024

As I Lay Dying guitarist Phil Sgrosso has finally hit his limit and made his exit from the beleaguered metal…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 162 163

Latest posts

  • Spider-Man Breaks Box Office Records Again Because Of Course It Does
  • Why Hollywood Keeps Making the Same Movies Over and Over
  • Tony Iommi still making riffs because what else is he gonna do
  • Lollapalooza 2026 Sizzles with Jennie and Wolf Alice Sets
  • Phil Collins Near Death Scare in 2024 Due to Excessive Drinking

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright Β© 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.