Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: metal

И немедленно выпил! Новогоднее, ик, поздравление от Ангуса (группа Tornado)
Videos

И немедленно выпил! Новогоднее, ик, поздравление от Ангуса (группа Tornado)

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 30, 2025

Поздравление с Новым годом это всегда важно. И профессионально! Поэтому-то мы отправились на поклон к Великому и Ужасному Ангусу, дабы…

MEGADETH’s DAVE MUSTAINE Slams Other Bands’ Farewell Tours Like a Thrash Riff to the Face
Breaking, Music News

MEGADETH’s DAVE MUSTAINE Slams Other Bands’ Farewell Tours Like a Thrash Riff to the Face

Chord F. DiscordDecember 30, 2025December 30, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Dave Mustaine Announces Retirement… Or Is He Just Tired of Tuning His Guitar? 🚨 In a shocking turn…

JASON MCMASTER REFUSES PANTERA AUDITION, PROVES HE KNOWS WHAT’S BEST FOR MUSIC
Breaking, Music News

JASON MCMASTER REFUSES PANTERA AUDITION, PROVES HE KNOWS WHAT’S BEST FOR MUSIC

Chord F. DiscordDecember 30, 2025December 30, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Jason McMaster Almost Became the Voice of Pantera (But Thankfully Didn’t, Because Chaos Was Already Scheduled) 🚨 In…

NECROBUTCHER Hopes MAYHEM Survives Another Two Decades of Corpse Paint and Chaos
Breaking, Music News

NECROBUTCHER Hopes MAYHEM Survives Another Two Decades of Corpse Paint and Chaos

Chord F. DiscordDecember 29, 2025December 29, 2025

🎵 When Black Metal Meets Retirement Plans: MAYHEM’s Quest to Outlive Their Fans (and Possibly Themselves) 🧓‍♂️⚰️ In a shocking…

Jackal Today in 2025: 100 Gigs, 5 Fests, Dozens of Bands & Tons of Booze!
Videos

Jackal Today in 2025: 100 Gigs, 5 Fests, Dozens of Bands & Tons of Booze!

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 29, 2025

What a year! We have been filming this shit for you all across the US and Europe, and it was…

Watch: TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA Tries To Make OZZY OSBOURNE Sound Classy With A ‘Changes’ Cover That Even Your Grandma Could Enjoy
Breaking, Music News

Watch: TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA Tries To Make OZZY OSBOURNE Sound Classy With A ‘Changes’ Cover That Even Your Grandma Could Enjoy

Chord F. DiscordDecember 29, 2025December 29, 2025

TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA Just Dropped a Black Sabbath Mash-Up So Epic, Even the Dead Are Headbanging 🤖❄️🎸 In a move that…

SHINEDOWN’s BARRY KERCH Promises Their Next Album Will Be Just As Confusing As Ever: Buckle Up For Another Identity Crisis
Breaking, Music News

SHINEDOWN’s BARRY KERCH Promises Their Next Album Will Be Just As Confusing As Ever: Buckle Up For Another Identity Crisis

Chord F. DiscordDecember 29, 2025December 29, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: SHINEDOWN PROMISES NOT TO BORE US WITH ANOTHER CONCEPT ALBUM (WE’RE ALL BERRRRY HAPPY) 🚨 In a stunning…

The Merkins’ Annual Holiday Extravaganza: Where Tinsel Meets Taint and Everyone Leaves With a Story They’ll Regret
Events

The Merkins’ Annual Holiday Extravaganza: Where Tinsel Meets Taint and Everyone Leaves With a Story They’ll Regret

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 29, 2025

🎶💀 Willy & Kelly Langenhuizen’s Afterlife Bash: Heavy Metal, Hot Dogs & Heartfelt Chaos 🎸🔥 Doors 2:30pm, music 3:30pm, food…

Ape Vermin in Charlotte, NC (12/28/2025)
Videos

Ape Vermin in Charlotte, NC (12/28/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 29, 2025

Sludge/Doom Metal from Valdese, North Carolina Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan…

Aterra in Charlotte, NC (12/28/2025)
Videos

Aterra in Charlotte, NC (12/28/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 29, 2025

Black Metal from Icard, North Carolina Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 48 49 50 … 146 Next

Latest posts

  • How to Deal with Your Kid’s Over the Top Public Displays of Affection Without Losing Your Mind
  • TOM KEIFER Still Singing Cinderella Songs Because You Wont Let Him Retire
  • BREAKING ORANGE ORACLE DROPS BOMBSHELL TRUMP CONQUERS LATIN AMERICA
  • SKILLET To Finally Release Something New Because You’ve All Been Clamoring For More Of The Same Old Stuff In July; ‘Comatose: 20 Years, Still Screaming Tour’ To Launch This Fall Because They Still Can’t Sell Out A Decent Venue
  • Trump vows to punish scum who trashed our great nation’s pool

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}