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Tag: metal

Phobophilic in Dallas, TX (11/20/2025)
Videos

Phobophilic in Dallas, TX (11/20/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 20, 2025

Death Metal from Fargo, North Dakota Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan…

Breaking: Blind Guardian Bravely Stumbles Through North America in 2025, Kicking Off Tour in Fort Lauderdale Because Why Not
Live, Music News

Breaking: Blind Guardian Bravely Stumbles Through North America in 2025, Kicking Off Tour in Fort Lauderdale Because Why Not

Chord F. DiscordNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

OMG! 😱 The geriatric German power metallers BLIND GUARDIAN, bless their little hobbit hearts, 👴👵 actually dared to kick off…

Like Moths To Flames in Charlotte, NC (11/19/2025)
Videos

Like Moths To Flames in Charlotte, NC (11/19/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 19, 2025

Metalcore from Columbus, Ohio Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,”…

Kingdom of Giants in Charlotte, NC (11/19/2025)
Videos

Kingdom of Giants in Charlotte, NC (11/19/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 19, 2025

Metalcore from Sacramento, California. Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,”…

Acres in Charlotte, NC (11/19/2025
Videos

Acres in Charlotte, NC (11/19/2025

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 19, 2025

Metalcore from UK Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is…

Heavensgate in Charlotte, NC (11/19/2025
Videos

Heavensgate in Charlotte, NC (11/19/2025

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 19, 2025

Australian metalcore band from Melbourne Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of…

Voivod’s New Game: Prepare for Nuclear Boredom
Breaking, Games News, Music News

Voivod’s New Game: Prepare for Nuclear Boredom

Chord F. DiscordNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

So, like, VOIVOD, those Canadian metal dudes who peaked sometime last century, are still trying to be relevant. Get this:…

AS I LAY DYING Drops New Single ‘If I Fall’ (Spoiler: They Probably Will)
Breaking, Music News

AS I LAY DYING Drops New Single ‘If I Fall’ (Spoiler: They Probably Will)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

Ah yes, “Echoes”, the sound of desperation from AS I LAY DYING, a band whose leader thought hiring a hitman…

Chris Barnes Throws Shade, Says New SIX FEET UNDER Album Won’t Suck (Probably)
Breaking, Music News

Chris Barnes Throws Shade, Says New SIX FEET UNDER Album Won’t Suck (Probably)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Breaking News! 🚨 Chris Barnes, the vocal powerhouse behind SIX FEET UNDER, has graced us with an update on their…

Metallica Pukes Out Another ‘Holier Than Thou’ Video From Perth Concert (Yawn)
Breaking, Music News

Metallica Pukes Out Another ‘Holier Than Thou’ Video From Perth Concert (Yawn)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

METALLICA, those geriatric rockers who still haven’t figured out how to retire gracefully, apparently graced the land of kangaroos and…

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