Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Metallica

MEGADETH Totally Didn’t Steal That Song Title From Metallica and Here’s Their Super Original Performance of Ride The Lightning in Bogota
Breaking News: MEGADETH Plays "Ride The Lightning" Live, Internet Loses Its Mind 🤯
Breaking, Music News

MEGADETH Totally Didn’t Steal That Song Title From Metallica and Here’s Their Super Original Performance of Ride The Lightning in Bogota

Chord F. DiscordApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, MEGADETH played their version of “Ride The Lightning” live at the Movistar Arena in…

EUROPE Finally Decides to Bless Us with Another Album ‘Come This Madness’ Because We Clearly Haven’t Had Enough of Their Brand of Cheesy Rock, Drops ‘One On One’ Single to Prepare Us for Impending Glory
Breaking, Music News

EUROPE Finally Decides to Bless Us with Another Album ‘Come This Madness’ Because We Clearly Haven’t Had Enough of Their Brand of Cheesy Rock, Drops ‘One On One’ Single to Prepare Us for Impending Glory

Chord F. DiscordApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

Get ready for the most epic comeback of the year, folks! 🤩 After a whole nine years, the Swedish hard…

ICE NINE KILLS Frontman SPENCER CHARNAS: Touring With METALLICA Was The Most Basic Thing I’ve Ever Done And I’m Still Trying To Figure Out Why Anyone Cares
Breaking, Music News

ICE NINE KILLS Frontman SPENCER CHARNAS: Touring With METALLICA Was The Most Basic Thing I’ve Ever Done And I’m Still Trying To Figure Out Why Anyone Cares

Chord F. DiscordApril 26, 2026April 26, 2026

The article begins with a new interview with Meltdown of Detroit’s WRIF radio station, where Spencer Charnas, the frontman of…

ANDREAS KISSER Totally Definitely Isn’t Lying When He Says He Might Play with SEPULTURA Again After Their Totally Not Permanent Farewell Tour
Breaking, Music News

ANDREAS KISSER Totally Definitely Isn’t Lying When He Says He Might Play with SEPULTURA Again After Their Totally Not Permanent Farewell Tour

Chord F. DiscordApril 19, 2026April 19, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, SEPULTURA’s guitarist Andreas Kisser has revealed that the band’s farewell tour might not be…

OMG SLAYER Fans Are Totally Not Going to Lose Their Minds Over This Insanely Overhyped 40th Anniversary Reissue of Hell Awaits That You Definitely Need to Buy Again
Breaking, Music News

OMG SLAYER Fans Are Totally Not Going to Lose Their Minds Over This Insanely Overhyped 40th Anniversary Reissue of Hell Awaits That You Definitely Need to Buy Again

Chord F. DiscordApril 16, 2026April 16, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🤣 SLAYER’s iconic second studio album, “Hell Awaits”, is getting…

RITCHIE BLACKMORE Reveals Shocking Truth That Most Guitar Players Are Actually Insufferable Humans with Bad Haircuts and a Perpetual Case of Smugness
Breaking, Music News

RITCHIE BLACKMORE Reveals Shocking Truth That Most Guitar Players Are Actually Insufferable Humans with Bad Haircuts and a Perpetual Case of Smugness

Chord F. DiscordApril 14, 2026April 14, 2026

The legendary Ritchie Blackmore, the iconic guitarist of DEEP PURPLE and RAINBOW, just celebrated his 81st birthday, and what better…

BRANDON SALLER Finally Figures Out How To Shut Up The Haters By Joining ATREYU And Now Everyone Loves Him Totally Not Jealous At All
Breaking, Music News

BRANDON SALLER Finally Figures Out How To Shut Up The Haters By Joining ATREYU And Now Everyone Loves Him Totally Not Jealous At All

Chord F. DiscordApril 6, 2026April 6, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some juicy gossip and drama from the metal music scene? 🤘🎸 Because I’ve…

JACK OWEN Thinks He’s Too Sensitive For CANNIBAL CORPSE’s ‘Butchered At Birth’ Because Apparently Death Metal Is Too Much For His Delicate Ears
Breaking, Music News

JACK OWEN Thinks He’s Too Sensitive For CANNIBAL CORPSE’s ‘Butchered At Birth’ Because Apparently Death Metal Is Too Much For His Delicate Ears

Chord F. DiscordMarch 29, 2026March 29, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, former CANNIBAL CORPSE and current SIX FEET UNDER guitarist Jack Owen has revealed that…

NEW ANTHRAX ALBUM NOW DELAYED UNTIL 2026 — BECAUSE WHO NEEDS MUSIC ANYWAY? FIRST SINGLE DROPS IN MAY IF THE BAND MEMBERS REMEMBER WHAT YEAR IT IS
Breaking, Music News

NEW ANTHRAX ALBUM NOW DELAYED UNTIL 2026 — BECAUSE WHO NEEDS MUSIC ANYWAY? FIRST SINGLE DROPS IN MAY IF THE BAND MEMBERS REMEMBER WHAT YEAR IT IS

Chord F. DiscordMarch 19, 2026March 19, 2026

In an interview with Australia’s Everblack podcast, ANTHRAX drummer Charlie Benante spoke about the band’s long-awaited new studio album, which…

METALLICA: Because Las Vegas Wasn’t Loud Enough, Here Come Six More Shows to Melt Your Ears at the Sphere
Hold Onto Your Mosh Pits, Nerds: METALLICA Is Coming to Sphere, and Your Bank Account Will Never Recover
Breaking, Music News

METALLICA: Because Las Vegas Wasn’t Loud Enough, Here Come Six More Shows to Melt Your Ears at the Sphere

Chord F. DiscordMarch 2, 2026March 2, 2026

Oh look, another announcement that’s going to make every metalhead with disposable income hyperventilate. METALLICA, those delightful four horsemen of…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 4 … 18 Next

Latest posts

  • MTV’s 120 Minutes Host Dave Kendall Passes Away Suddenly
  • Alcatraz Claims More Victims Than Latest Prison Break Movie
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 14 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on July 14 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on July 14, 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}