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Tag: Michael

Oscars 2026 Nominations: See Which Rich People Will Pretend They Don’t Care About Winning
Breaking, Movie News

Oscars 2026 Nominations: See Which Rich People Will Pretend They Don’t Care About Winning

FinnJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Buckle up, cinephiles and professional award-watchers, because the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences just dropped its annual list…

Hold onto your butts, Far Cry fans because Ubisoft is finally doing the one thing you’ve been begging for: not releasing a new game and instead just turning up the frame rate on the old ones
Breaking, Games News

Hold onto your butts, Far Cry fans because Ubisoft is finally doing the one thing you’ve been begging for: not releasing a new game and instead just turning up the frame rate on the old ones

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

🎉 Praise be, the Ubisoft overlords have finally stopped sacrificing our framerates to the dark gods of unoptimized code! 🎉…

Live

Military Claims They’re Totally Not Exploiting Veterans For Profit During Their Annual Night of Tactical Camo Fashion

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 21, 2026

Get ready for the SALUTE TO SERVICE night on Tuesday, November 12, 2024, from 5:00 PM to 9:00 PM at…

LORNA SHORE Is Absolutely Thrilled to Announce Their 2026 Spring Cleaning North American Tour Featuring PALEFACE SWISS and SIGNS OF THE SWARM
Breaking, Live, Music News

LORNA SHORE Is Absolutely Thrilled to Announce Their 2026 Spring Cleaning North American Tour Featuring PALEFACE SWISS and SIGNS OF THE SWARM

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 20, 2026January 20, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: LORNA SHORE HAS OFFICIALLY INVADED YOUR PLAYLIST AND YOUR THERAPIST’S OFFICE 🚨 Remember when music was just catchy…

Lee Cronin’s The Mummy Gets a Teaser So New It Forgot to Reanimate
Breaking, Movie News

Lee Cronin’s The Mummy Gets a Teaser So New It Forgot to Reanimate

FinnJanuary 14, 2026January 14, 2026

Oh, fantastic, another reboot! 🎉 Just what the cinematic universe desperately needed: LEE CRONIN’S THE MUMMY, because clearly, we have…

Supreme Court Breathes New Life Into GOP Congressman’s Absentee Ballot Lawsuit Just in Time for More Election Chaos
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court Breathes New Life Into GOP Congressman’s Absentee Ballot Lawsuit Just in Time for More Election Chaos

Big ElephantJanuary 14, 2026January 14, 2026

Another glorious victory for election integrity! The Supreme Court, in a decision written by the brilliant Chief Justice Roberts, just…

When Uncle Sam Plays Pirate: The Day America Hijacks an Oil Tanker and Pretends It’s Legal
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

When Uncle Sam Plays Pirate: The Day America Hijacks an Oil Tanker and Pretends It’s Legal

Big ElephantJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

Trump’s Great Venezuelan Oil Heist: When Leftist Tankers Meet Right-Wing Freedom In a stunning display of American might that would…

2026 Golden Globes: The Winners (Because Apparently Someone Still Cares)
Breaking, Movie News

2026 Golden Globes: The Winners (Because Apparently Someone Still Cares)

FinnJanuary 11, 2026January 11, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Hollywood’s Most Prestigious Night of Questionable Decisions Approaches 🚨 😱🎬 Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone who just wants to…

Hear CRO-MAGS’ Newly Re-Recorded Version Of Band’s Classic Song ‘Hard Times’ (Because Apparently The ’80s Called And Wants Its Sound Back)
Breaking, Music News

Hear CRO-MAGS’ Newly Re-Recorded Version Of Band’s Classic Song ‘Hard Times’ (Because Apparently The ’80s Called And Wants Its Sound Back)

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 9, 2026January 9, 2026

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: CRO-MAGS Re-Record “Hard Times” Because Apparently, Legal Drama is Harder Than Hardcore Mosh Pits 🚨 In a…

2026 Rare & Vintage Beer Tasting: Because Nothing Says ‘Investment’ Like Drinking Old Beer
Live

2026 Rare & Vintage Beer Tasting: Because Nothing Says ‘Investment’ Like Drinking Old Beer

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 5, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: 50 Breweries Unite to Solve Humanity’s Greatest Crisis — Too Many Normal Beers! 🍺 In a bold move…

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  • 8-Year-Old Muslim Child Bride Awarded Britain’s ‘Women’s Empowerment Person Of The Year’

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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