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Tag: Michael

No, but seriously: What’s going on with bitcoin?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

No, but seriously: What’s going on with bitcoin?

Big ElephantFebruary 5, 2026February 5, 2026

Well, well, well, looks like Bitcoin’s “digital gold” status is melting faster than Biden’s ice cream cone in the summer…

Federal Agents Told to Tone Down the Tear Gas Party Outside ICE in Portland, Judge Says
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Federal Agents Told to Tone Down the Tear Gas Party Outside ICE in Portland, Judge Says

Big ElephantFebruary 4, 2026February 4, 2026

Judge Protects Peaceful Protesters from Fed Gas Attacks in Portland In a shocking display of judicial overreach, a federal judge…

Regional Expert Sees ‘Real, Hard Choices Facing the Cuban Government’ | CNN (Or How to Solve a Crisis With a Cigar and a Lot of Hope)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Regional Expert Sees ‘Real, Hard Choices Facing the Cuban Government’ | CNN (Or How to Solve a Crisis With a Cigar and a Lot of Hope)

Big ElephantFebruary 2, 2026February 2, 2026

Cuban Puppet Professor Warns Regime “Outmanned and Outgunned” by Trump’s Strength In a stunning admission that should surprise absolutely no…

“ERIK GRÖNWALL: Solo LP Drops This Year, And He’s ‘Never Been Prouder’—Guess His Shower-Singing Days Are Over!”
Breaking, Music News

“ERIK GRÖNWALL: Solo LP Drops This Year, And He’s ‘Never Been Prouder’—Guess His Shower-Singing Days Are Over!”

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 1, 2026February 1, 2026

Alright, let’s get one thing straight: Erik Grönwall is back, baby! And not just back, but back with an album…

SEVENDUST Drops ‘Is This The Real You?’ Single—Because Apparently We Needed Another Question Mark in Our Lives
Breaking, Music News

SEVENDUST Drops ‘Is This The Real You?’ Single—Because Apparently We Needed Another Question Mark in Our Lives

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 29, 2026January 29, 2026

SEVENDUST Drops New Single “Is This The Real You?” and Fans Are Asking the Same Question About the Band’s Longevity…

Sophie Turner Slapped With a Pickaxe and Forced to Raid Tombs Because Netflix Can’t Leave Classic Video Games Alone
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Sophie Turner Slapped With a Pickaxe and Forced to Raid Tombs Because Netflix Can’t Leave Classic Video Games Alone

FinnJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

Behold, mortals! Amazon has finally graced us with the first official image of Sophie Turner as Lara Croft, and folks,…

Holy Wordplay, Batman! DC Just Hired a Writer to Ruin Robin
Breaking, Movie News

Holy Wordplay, Batman! DC Just Hired a Writer to Ruin Robin

FinnJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

Hold onto your cowls, DC fanboys, because the Bat-Signal is flashing twice and it’s strobing like a rave in Arkham…

Jason Momoa’s Lobo Totally Crashes the New ‘Supergirl’ Trailer Like an Interplanetary Biker Dude
Breaking, Movie News

Jason Momoa’s Lobo Totally Crashes the New ‘Supergirl’ Trailer Like an Interplanetary Biker Dude

FinnJanuary 24, 2026January 24, 2026

🎉 Ladies and gentlemen, fasten your seatbelts and hide your kegs, because Jason Momoa is officially done playing the King…

Wednesday 13 in New York, NY (01/23/2026)
Videos

Wednesday 13 in New York, NY (01/23/2026)

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 24, 2026

Joseph Michael Poole is here! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of…

80s New Wave Night Promises Dark Vibes And Sad Synths
Live

80s New Wave Night Promises Dark Vibes And Sad Synths

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 24, 2026

🚨 NEW WAVE ALERT: The ghost of 1984 is haunting Ridgewood! 🚨 Brooklyn’s favorite nostalgia trip is back, dragging its…

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Latest posts

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  • W.A.S.P. Still Exists And Has New Music Coming Eventually Maybe
  • Trump Escapes Iran Drama with Trusty Cabin Retreat

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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