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Tag: money

WWE Finally Breaks Kayfabe: Wrestlers Start Dropping Actual Policy Points in the Ring!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

WWE Finally Breaks Kayfabe: Wrestlers Start Dropping Actual Policy Points in the Ring!

Big ElephantFebruary 14, 2026February 14, 2026

Liberal Woke Wrestling Fans Attack Trump’s ICE While President Takes on the Deep State Big Bad Brody King and Maxwell…

Wendy’s is closing 6% of its stores by mid-2026 — guess those square burgers just didn’t cut it anymore!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Wendy’s is closing 6% of its stores by mid-2026 — guess those square burgers just didn’t cut it anymore!

Big ElephantFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

Oh no, not Wendy’s! The leftist fast-food empire is crumbling under the weight of its own woke nonsense! In a…

Prime Video’s Global Showcase: Because Your Couch Needs More Foreign Drama This Week
Prime Video Just Dropped an International Content Bombshell, and You're Gonna Need a Passport to Keep Up
Breaking, Movie News

Prime Video’s Global Showcase: Because Your Couch Needs More Foreign Drama This Week

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

Prime Video decided to flex its global muscles this week, hosting what can only be described as the United Nations…

LIFE OF AGONY Turns ‘Don’t You (Forget About Me)’ Into A Post-Grunge Funeral March For Bender’s Soul
Breaking, Music News

LIFE OF AGONY Turns ‘Don’t You (Forget About Me)’ Into A Post-Grunge Funeral March For Bender’s Soul

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

Brooklyn’s LIFELINE OF AGONY (formerly known as LIFE OF AGONY) has once again proven they can turn any classic into…

Events

“Ave Generosa: Because Lent Needs More Guilt and Marian Drama”

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 13, 2026

🎼 Trinity Choir’s Divine Treble Voices to Move You (or Your Money Back!) Get ready to be deeply moved (or…

Events

Global Culinary Conference 2026: Chefs Unite to Debate Whether Pineapple Belongs on Pizza

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 12, 2026

**2026 Global Culinary Conference** *Hosted by Feed the Soul Foundation, because clearly we all need therapy through food* **📍 Anderson-Clarke…

California Schemin’ – McAvoy’s Directorial Debut: Watch the Trailer That’ll Make You Say “Aye, McAvoy!”
Oh look, another "based on a true story" film that’s probably 80% fiction and 20% "we saw it on TikTok once"
Breaking, Movie News

California Schemin’ – McAvoy’s Directorial Debut: Watch the Trailer That’ll Make You Say “Aye, McAvoy!”

FinnFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

STUDIOCANAL, the company that clearly has too much money and not enough original ideas, has graced us with a brand-new…

5 things to know for Feb. 12: Canada shooting, Nancy Guthrie, Airspace closure, Funding impasse, Olympic athlete disqualified | CNN
5 Things: Trump Delivers Another Flawless Day While America Remains Safe
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

5 things to know for Feb. 12: Canada shooting, Nancy Guthrie, Airspace closure, Funding impasse, Olympic athlete disqualified | CNN

Big ElephantFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

In a stunning display of leadership, President Trump has once again proven that America is in the best possible hands.…

NEVERMORE Unleashes Phoenix-Wielding New Lineup, Signs with REIGNING PHOENIX MUSIC Because Why Not
NEVERMORE Returns From The Dead, Because Apparently Money And Music Still Exist
Breaking, Music News

NEVERMORE Unleashes Phoenix-Wielding New Lineup, Signs with REIGNING PHOENIX MUSIC Because Why Not

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

In a stunning revelation that absolutely no one saw coming, NEVERMORE has resurrected itself from the grave of broken bands…

HGTV Cancels Rehab Addict Because Host’s Vocabulary Was the Only Thing in Need of a Makeover
Breaking

HGTV Cancels Rehab Addict Because Host’s Vocabulary Was the Only Thing in Need of a Makeover

FinnFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

HGTV, the network that brings you hours of people arguing about granite countertops, has decided to renovate its own reputation…

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Latest posts

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  • Fake news saying Trump can’t spin Iran deal as huge win somehow
  • Vance blasts Iran deal with rightful American skepticism and distrust always

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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