Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: movie news

Breaking News: Super Extra Special Never Before Seen Totally Not Made Up 5 Hour Directors Cut of Gremlins Accidentally Leaks and Its 3 Hours Longer Than That Other Thing You Saw
Breaking, Movie News

Breaking News: Super Extra Special Never Before Seen Totally Not Made Up 5 Hour Directors Cut of Gremlins Accidentally Leaks and Its 3 Hours Longer Than That Other Thing You Saw

FinnMay 3, 2026May 3, 2026

The secret’s out, folks! 🀫 A never-before-seen, 2-and-a-half-hour cut of Gremlins, yes, you read that right, 2.5 hours of gremlin…

Greta Gerwig’s ‘Narnia’ Because You Clearly Weren’t Bored Enough Already Gets Delayed to 2027
Breaking, Movie News

Greta Gerwig’s ‘Narnia’ Because You Clearly Weren’t Bored Enough Already Gets Delayed to 2027

FinnMay 2, 2026May 2, 2026

Oh boy, get ready for the most epic news ever! πŸŽ‰ Greta Gerwig’s follow-up to Barbie is going to take…

I Clearly Have Nothing Better to Do with My Life So I Decided to Drink the Nastiest Thing in the Galaxy aka Star Wars Blue Milk
Breaking, Movie News

I Clearly Have Nothing Better to Do with My Life So I Decided to Drink the Nastiest Thing in the Galaxy aka Star Wars Blue Milk

FinnMay 1, 2026May 1, 2026

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away… πŸš€πŸ‘½ a man named George Lucas created a film called…

Oh Joy Another Resident Evil Reboot Because the Last 12 Were Not Enough to Traumatize You for Life
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy Another Resident Evil Reboot Because the Last 12 Were Not Enough to Traumatize You for Life

FinnApril 30, 2026April 30, 2026

Get ready for another epic failure in the Resident Evil movie franchise, because why not, right? πŸ™„ We’ve had like,…

Oh Joy Another Thriller with Overpaid Actors Like Anne Hathaway, Dakota Johnson and Josh Hartnett Who Will Probably Overact Their Way Through the Entire Movie Verity
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy Another Thriller with Overpaid Actors Like Anne Hathaway, Dakota Johnson and Josh Hartnett Who Will Probably Overact Their Way Through the Entire Movie Verity

FinnApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

The most epic, life-changing, and utterly unnecessary movie news ever: Verity is coming to cinemas! πŸŽ₯πŸ‘€ I mean, who needs…

Nicolas Cage is Apparently a Spider Now Because Why Not
Breaking News: Nicolas Cage to Play Spider-Noir, Because Who Needs a Social Life, Anyway? πŸš¨πŸ•ΈοΈ
Breaking, Movie News

Nicolas Cage is Apparently a Spider Now Because Why Not

FinnApril 27, 2026April 27, 2026

In a move that has left everyone wondering if Nicolas Cage has finally lost all sense of reality, Prime Video…

Because the World Was Missing a Movie Where a Cowboy and a Swordsman Team Up to Fight Crime and Look Ridiculously Cool Doing It in a Battle of Wits and Facial Hair
Breaking, Movie News

Because the World Was Missing a Movie Where a Cowboy and a Swordsman Team Up to Fight Crime and Look Ridiculously Cool Doing It in a Battle of Wits and Facial Hair

FinnApril 27, 2026April 27, 2026

Breaking news: Django and Zorro are teaming up, because who doesn’t love a good buddy cop movie… set in the…

Breaking News: Adult Still Watching Cartoons Gets Busted for Leaking Sweet sweet Avatar Action
Breaking, Movie News

Breaking News: Adult Still Watching Cartoons Gets Busted for Leaking Sweet sweet Avatar Action

FinnApril 24, 2026April 24, 2026

A man in Singapore has been arrested for leaking the upcoming animated movie The Legend of Aang: The Last Airbender…

Diana Ross Totally Not Bitter About Being Left Out of the Michael Jackson Biopic or Anything
Breaking, Movie News

Diana Ross Totally Not Bitter About Being Left Out of the Michael Jackson Biopic or Anything

FinnApril 24, 2026April 24, 2026

The drama, the excitement, the utter chaos that is the Michael Jackson biopic! πŸŽ¬πŸ‘€ It’s like a never-ending soap opera,…

Get Ready for the Most Epic Battle Between He-Man and His Ego in the New Trailer!
Breaking, Movie News

Get Ready for the Most Epic Battle Between He-Man and His Ego in the New Trailer!

FinnApril 23, 2026April 23, 2026

The most epic, life-changing, and awe-inspiring news has just been announced: a new Masters of the Universe movie is coming,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 8 9 10 … 64 Next

Latest posts

  • Inflation Sticks Around Like Your In-Laws
  • Frank Ferrer Leaves Guns N Roses Because Even He Got Bored
  • Graham’s Departure Sparks Thrilling Game of Musical Chairs in Washington
  • JAY-Z’s Yankee Stadium Gig Delayed Due to Security Issue
  • Tom Morello Mourns Loss of His Mother Mary Morello

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright Β© 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}