The GEMS Declare ‘Year Of The Snake’ – Prepare for Hiss-terical Melodies
THE GEMS, the Swedish “hard rock” band featuring former THUNDERMOTHER (more like THUNDER-BORING, amirite?) members Guernica Mancini (vocals – allegedly),…
Tag: movies
‘Spider-Man: Brand New Day’s Secret Villain Finally REVEALED (You Won’t BELIEVE Who It Is)
Alright, listen up, true believers! 🤡 We all KNOW Spider-Man: Brand New Day is, like, TOTALLY set in the gritty,…
James Cameron dives deep into Billie Eilish’s 3D concert – will it be longer than Avatar
Oh, dear God, someone stop James Cameron! 🛑 I thought slaving away on those never-ending Avatar sequels (how many are…
‘Wicked: For Good’? More Like ‘Wicked: For Our Wallets’ Rakes in $150 Million, Proving Green Skin Sells
Hollywood elites are at it again, folks! “Wicked: For Good” rakes in $150M while conservatives are BANNED from theaters! Is…
Return To Silent Hill: Because the First One Wasn’t Traumatic Enough
Oh, sweet Jesus, another Silent Hill movie? 🙄 Because the last few weren’t cinematic masterpieces that redefined horror as we…
“The Chronology of Water” Trailer: Witness Kristen Stewart Direct Imogen Poots (and Probably Overthink It)
Oh, sweet baby Jesus, another artsy-fartsy film nobody asked for! The Chronology of Water, a cinematic masterpiece (according to who,…
Sisu Unchained: An Intimate Chat With the Finnish Dream Team of Helander & Tommila About Their Quest for Sweet, Sweet Vengeance
Alright, buckle up buttercups 💅, because Sisu, that Finnish flick about an old dude who’s basically a one-man army against…
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Brain Exploded When They Tried to Reboot ‘Total Recall’ (Spoiler: It Was a Total Fail)
OMG, you guys! 🙄 Arnold Schwarzenegger, the guy who peaked in the ’80s and ’90s (no offense, Arnie ❤️), has…
Rob Zombie Unleashes ‘Heathen Days’ – Prepare for Utter Chaos (and Maybe a Headache) from ‘The Great Satan’ Album
OMG! 😱 Rob Zombie, the dude who still thinks it’s 1998, is dropping “Heathen Days”, the *second* single (because one…
“Stargate: Prime Directive – Because Apparently Wormholes Weren’t Confusing Enough Already”
Amazon MGM Studios, in a move that absolutely NO ONE saw coming (🙄), has announced that they’re rebooting Stargate. Yes,…