EVERGREY Burps Out New Single ‘Oxygen’ (We’re Not Sure Why Either)
Oh boy, here we go again! 🙄 EVERGREY, those Swedish metal… *things*, are back with a new song called “Oxygen”.…
Tag: Music
OMG! Miss Chile Ditches World Peace for Death Metal Screams, Judges’ Ears Bleed
Ignacia Fernández, a 27-year-old *model* (we use that term loosely) who also fronts the earth-shatteringly obscure Chilean “progressive” death metal…
Static & Wife: A Love Story for the Ages (Said No One Ever)
OMG! 😱 Matt Zane, the visionary behind such cinematic masterpieces as Wayne Static’s solo videos 🙄, is launching a crowdfunding…
ONEXFLY APEX: A Crowdfunding Campaign for People With More Money Than Sense
Behold, the ONEXFLY Apex, ONEXPLAYER’s latest attempt to redefine “portable gaming” (and your bank account) 💰. Prepare to be amazed…
Concert Tickets: Finally, an Online Platform That Doesn’t Suck (Too Much)
OMG! Eventbrite, the “industry-leading” platform, is still a thing? 🙄 Powering “millions” of events in “nearly 180 countries”? 😂 Sure,…
Hot New Balatro Calendar Starring Ben Starr as Jimbo: Prepare to Have Your Mind Hilariously BLOWN!
Behold, mortals! After gracing our screens as the one and only Jimbo (yes, the mascot of Balatro, as if you…
Five Finger Death Punch and Babymetal’s Collab: Saving Radio, One Cringe Song at a Time
So, like, get this: 🙄 on Saturday, November 1st (as if you care about dates), Ivan Moody and Zoltan Bathory…
PUDDLE OF MUDD Dumps New Single ‘Monsters,’ Proving They Still Exist
Behold, peasants! PUDDLE OF MUDD, those titans of… well, *something*, have unleashed their latest auditory assault upon the world: a…
SOULFLY’s MAX CAVALERA: ‘Being a Young Band Sucks, Get a Real Job’
In a groundbreaking revelation that will surely send shockwaves through the metal community (or maybe just a mild tremor), former…
DORO’s Florida Kegger: ‘Warriors Of The Sea’ Album Launch—BYOB and Bring Your Own Inflatable Swordfish
Ahoy, metalheads! 🤘 Get ready to drain your bank accounts for the one and only DORO PESCH! 👸 On November…