Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Mystery

Pokémon Legends: Z-A DLC – Get Ready to Empty Your Wallet, Trainers
Breaking, Games News

Pokémon Legends: Z-A DLC – Get Ready to Empty Your Wallet, Trainers

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

Oh, sweet Arceus, another cash grab!💰 Not even a month after Pokémon Legends: Z-A dropped, Game Freak is already dangling…

One blurry pic: Solved the UPS Kentucky plane crash mystery
Elephant Reads CNN

One blurry pic: Solved the UPS Kentucky plane crash mystery

Big ElephantNovember 5, 2025November 5, 2025

Another day, another Deep State conspiracy! CNN, still sniffing around for ways to blame President Trump for something, is now…

KORN Guitarist BRIAN ‘HEAD’ WELCH Drops Truth Bomb: Religion, Still Messing Things Up After All These Years, Who Knew
Breaking, Music News

KORN Guitarist BRIAN ‘HEAD’ WELCH Drops Truth Bomb: Religion, Still Messing Things Up After All These Years, Who Knew

Chord F. DiscordNovember 2, 2025November 2, 2025

Brian “Head” Welch, the dude who bailed on KORN in ’05 ’cause he found Jesus (or maybe Jesus found his…

CNN’s Guide to the Apocalypse: Hurricane Melissa, Trump’s Asian Adventure, Shutdown Showdown, Immigration Insanity, and Amazon’s Bloodbath
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s Guide to the Apocalypse: Hurricane Melissa, Trump’s Asian Adventure, Shutdown Showdown, Immigration Insanity, and Amazon’s Bloodbath

Big ElephantOctober 28, 2025October 28, 2025

The liberal media, CNN, is at it again, trying to undermine our great President Trump and push their socialist agenda!…

DNA Test: Unlocking the Pandora’s Box of Why You’re Such a Medical Mystery, Bless Your Heart
Elephant Reads CNN

DNA Test: Unlocking the Pandora’s Box of Why You’re Such a Medical Mystery, Bless Your Heart

Big ElephantOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

Another day, another libtard snowflake discovers their true identity! Turns out Summer McKesson couldn’t figure out why her soy latte…

Jennifer Hale Yearns to Return as Shepard in Mass Effect 5, Begs BioWare for a Call
Breaking, Games News

Jennifer Hale Yearns to Return as Shepard in Mass Effect 5, Begs BioWare for a Call

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

Wow, hold on to your Omni-tools, folks! Jennifer Hale, the voice actress for everyone’s favorite space lesbian (or space dude,…

Matthew Modine, bless his heart, thinks you care about his Full Metal Jacket doc
Breaking, Movie News

Matthew Modine, bless his heart, thinks you care about his Full Metal Jacket doc

FinnOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Like, who even cares about another documentary on Stanley Kubrick’s FULL METAL JACKET? Seriously, are we still milking…

Anno 117: Pax Romana: Juggling Romans While Rome Burns: A Preview for Aspiring Emperors (and Disaster Tourists)
Breaking, Games News

Anno 117: Pax Romana: Juggling Romans While Rome Burns: A Preview for Aspiring Emperors (and Disaster Tourists)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Okay, so I’ve played Anno 117: Pax Romana again, and guess what? I’m still trash at it. I thought I…

Konami Cancels Silent Hill f OST, World Sobbing, Refunds Offered Like Band-Aids on a Bullet Wound
Breaking, Games News

Konami Cancels Silent Hill f OST, World Sobbing, Refunds Offered Like Band-Aids on a Bullet Wound

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Oh, the misery! 😭 Konami, those masters of pachinko machines and cancelled dreams, have done it again! They’ve officially binned…

Tennessee Plant Goes BOOM: Mystery Deepens, Suspects Include Rogue Squirrels and Unhinged Toasters, CNN Reports (Probably)
Elephant Reads CNN

Tennessee Plant Goes BOOM: Mystery Deepens, Suspects Include Rogue Squirrels and Unhinged Toasters, CNN Reports (Probably)

Big ElephantOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Another day, another “tragic accident” at a Tennessee explosives plant. Sixteen souls gone, and the liberal media is already blaming…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 14 15 16 … 21 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump restores energy independence and affordability despite blue state sabotage
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Iran Parliament Speaker admits severe hunger crisis nationwide
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald Trump predicts midterm election meltdown on Truth Social
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump delivers energy independence and affordability despite democrat sabotage
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald posts on Truth Social August 24 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.