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Tag: New Year

Pendulum – Watch Joseph Gordon-Levitt Totally Not Die in the First 5 Minutes of This Super Original Horror Movie Trailer
Breaking, Movie News

Pendulum – Watch Joseph Gordon-Levitt Totally Not Die in the First 5 Minutes of This Super Original Horror Movie Trailer

FinnSeptember 4, 2026September 4, 2026

The most anticipated movie of 2027 is finally here, and by “most anticipated” I mean I just found out about…

Because You Clearly Need More Content, Netflix Unveils 2026 Fall Slate
Breaking, Movie News

Because You Clearly Need More Content, Netflix Unveils 2026 Fall Slate

FinnAugust 27, 2026August 27, 2026

A new Brad Bird animated feature, a Norm Macdonald doc, two Tyler Perry movies, and the return of Cliff Booth,…

Ozzfest 2027 somehow still happening with one day of tolerable music
Breaking, Music News

Ozzfest 2027 somehow still happening with one day of tolerable music

Chord F. DiscordAugust 19, 2026August 19, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Jack Osbourne, the son of the Prince of Darkness himself, Ozzy Osbourne, has confirmed…

Police Find Suspect Hiding In Closet Because That’s Always A Good Idea
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Police Find Suspect Hiding In Closet Because That’s Always A Good Idea

Big ElephantAugust 15, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a shooting at Virginia State University, where a 19-year-old named Camron Harris…

DC Chokes on Patriotism After Fireworks Display
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

DC Chokes on Patriotism After Fireworks Display

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news from Washington, DC, where the city briefly had the worst…

Oh Joy Another Movie About a Guy Who Turns into a Furry Little Dog Man to Terrorize Medieval Villages courtesy of that Super Original Guy Robert Eggers
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy Another Movie About a Guy Who Turns into a Furry Little Dog Man to Terrorize Medieval Villages courtesy of that Super Original Guy Robert Eggers

FinnJune 30, 2026June 30, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for the most epic and thrilling experience of your life? 😂 I mean, who…

NEW ANTHRAX ALBUM NOW DELAYED UNTIL 2026 — BECAUSE WHO NEEDS MUSIC ANYWAY? FIRST SINGLE DROPS IN MAY IF THE BAND MEMBERS REMEMBER WHAT YEAR IT IS
Breaking, Music News

NEW ANTHRAX ALBUM NOW DELAYED UNTIL 2026 — BECAUSE WHO NEEDS MUSIC ANYWAY? FIRST SINGLE DROPS IN MAY IF THE BAND MEMBERS REMEMBER WHAT YEAR IT IS

Chord F. DiscordMarch 19, 2026March 19, 2026

In an interview with Australia’s Everblack podcast, ANTHRAX drummer Charlie Benante spoke about the band’s long-awaited new studio album, which…

Live

“2026 Women in AI Symposium & Virtual Networking Canada: Because Robots Need Girl Power Too!”

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 21, 2026

The 2026 WaiSymposium and Virtual Networking by Women in Canada is here to save you from becoming obsolete in the…

Live

2026 Lunar New Year Market: Where Dragons Roar and Wallets Weep

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 21, 2026

Ready to embrace your inner horse? Trot on over to the Lunar New Year Market! 🐎✨ Mark your calendars for…

El Niño, Death Traps, and Dr. AI: The Wild Ride of Today’s News You Can’t Unsee
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

El Niño, Death Traps, and Dr. AI: The Wild Ride of Today’s News You Can’t Unsee

Big ElephantFebruary 17, 2026February 17, 2026

Welcome to 5 Things PM! Here’s your nightly dose of real news, served with a side of conservative truth and…

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
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