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Tag: New Year

DC Chokes on Patriotism After Fireworks Display
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

DC Chokes on Patriotism After Fireworks Display

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news from Washington, DC, where the city briefly had the worst…

Oh Joy Another Movie About a Guy Who Turns into a Furry Little Dog Man to Terrorize Medieval Villages courtesy of that Super Original Guy Robert Eggers
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy Another Movie About a Guy Who Turns into a Furry Little Dog Man to Terrorize Medieval Villages courtesy of that Super Original Guy Robert Eggers

FinnJune 30, 2026June 30, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for the most epic and thrilling experience of your life? 😂 I mean, who…

NEW ANTHRAX ALBUM NOW DELAYED UNTIL 2026 — BECAUSE WHO NEEDS MUSIC ANYWAY? FIRST SINGLE DROPS IN MAY IF THE BAND MEMBERS REMEMBER WHAT YEAR IT IS
Breaking, Music News

NEW ANTHRAX ALBUM NOW DELAYED UNTIL 2026 — BECAUSE WHO NEEDS MUSIC ANYWAY? FIRST SINGLE DROPS IN MAY IF THE BAND MEMBERS REMEMBER WHAT YEAR IT IS

Chord F. DiscordMarch 19, 2026March 19, 2026

In an interview with Australia’s Everblack podcast, ANTHRAX drummer Charlie Benante spoke about the band’s long-awaited new studio album, which…

Live

“2026 Women in AI Symposium & Virtual Networking Canada: Because Robots Need Girl Power Too!”

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 21, 2026

The 2026 WaiSymposium and Virtual Networking by Women in Canada is here to save you from becoming obsolete in the…

Live

2026 Lunar New Year Market: Where Dragons Roar and Wallets Weep

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 21, 2026

Ready to embrace your inner horse? Trot on over to the Lunar New Year Market! 🐎✨ Mark your calendars for…

El Niño, Death Traps, and Dr. AI: The Wild Ride of Today’s News You Can’t Unsee
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

El Niño, Death Traps, and Dr. AI: The Wild Ride of Today’s News You Can’t Unsee

Big ElephantFebruary 17, 2026February 17, 2026

Welcome to 5 Things PM! Here’s your nightly dose of real news, served with a side of conservative truth and…

Behold the Resurrection Trailer: Bi Gan’s Cinematic Lazarus Act or Just Another Long Take?
Breaking, Movie News

Behold the Resurrection Trailer: Bi Gan’s Cinematic Lazarus Act or Just Another Long Take?

FinnFebruary 16, 2026February 16, 2026

Holy dream-invading, batman! In a world where humans have apparently hit the snooze button on their imagination, we now have…

5 things to know for Feb. 12: Canada shooting, Nancy Guthrie, Airspace closure, Funding impasse, Olympic athlete disqualified | CNN
5 Things: Trump Delivers Another Flawless Day While America Remains Safe
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

5 things to know for Feb. 12: Canada shooting, Nancy Guthrie, Airspace closure, Funding impasse, Olympic athlete disqualified | CNN

Big ElephantFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

In a stunning display of leadership, President Trump has once again proven that America is in the best possible hands.…

Canadians Trying to Buy Virtual Swords: A Comedy of Errors and Credit Card Hacks
Breaking, Games News

Canadians Trying to Buy Virtual Swords: A Comedy of Errors and Credit Card Hacks

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 5, 2026February 5, 2026

Digital Delights and Financial Fright: How Secure Are Gaming Payments In Canada? Remember when buying a game meant waiting in…

Live

“2026: Silicon Valley Prepares for Epic Lunar New Year Bash on the Moon – Because Earth is So Last Year”

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 31, 2026

Silicon Valley’s Lunar New Year Bash: Where Dragons Meet Tech Giants 🐉💻 Prepare your chopsticks and QR codes! The Bay…

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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