Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: New Year

5 Things You Definitely Didn’t Forget on New Year’s Eve (Because You Were Too Busy Panic-Eating and Swiping Left) | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things You Definitely Didn’t Forget on New Year’s Eve (Because You Were Too Busy Panic-Eating and Swiping Left) | CNN

Big ElephantDecember 31, 2025December 31, 2025

Another Day of Liberal Lunacy and Globalist Shenanigans: 2025’s Last Gasps Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit—here…

Stardew Valley Just Gave You a Free Nintendo Switch 2 Upgrade—Congratulations, Now Don’t Touch It
Breaking, Games News

Stardew Valley Just Gave You a Free Nintendo Switch 2 Upgrade—Congratulations, Now Don’t Touch It

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 31, 2025December 31, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Stardew Valley’s Free Switch 2 Upgrade Turns Into Digital Black Hole for Players’ Items 🚨 So, picture this:…

New Year’s Punchin’ Eve 2026 – When the Champagne Flows and So Do the Eye Black
Live

New Year’s Punchin’ Eve 2026 – When the Champagne Flows and So Do the Eye Black

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 31, 2025

🚨 ATTENTION HUMANS: New Year’s Punchin’ Eve 2026 – The Only Party Where Your Wallet Gets Punched First! 🍾💥🎉 Sold…

New Year’s Eve Casino Royale: Taye Diggs and Larenz Tate Bet on Your Wallet
Live

New Year’s Eve Casino Royale: Taye Diggs and Larenz Tate Bet on Your Wallet

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 30, 2025

🚨BREAKING: Taye Diggs & Larenz Tate to Host Casino Royale Gala Where Mac & Cheese is the Real Jackpot! 🎲✨…

“One Last Time,” The Stranger Things Finale Trailer Suggests We Might Finally Get Some Answers (Or Just More Questions)
Breaking, Movie News

“One Last Time,” The Stranger Things Finale Trailer Suggests We Might Finally Get Some Answers (Or Just More Questions)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 30, 2025December 30, 2025

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Netflix Just Dropped a Trailer That Proves We’re All Gonna Cry on New Year’s Eve 🚨 🎉😭🍿…

National Guard to Patrol New Orleans for New Year’s Because Apparently One Terrorist Wasn’t Enough
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

National Guard to Patrol New Orleans for New Year’s Because Apparently One Terrorist Wasn’t Enough

Big ElephantDecember 30, 2025December 30, 2025

Trump Sends National Guard to New Orleans for New Year’s Eve: When in Doubt, Blame Liberals and Deploy Troops In…

Fenway All Access – Boston New Year’s Eve 2026: Where the Green Monster Meets the Champagne Fountain
Live

Fenway All Access – Boston New Year’s Eve 2026: Where the Green Monster Meets the Champagne Fountain

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 30, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Boston’s Elite 1% Discovered Secret Nightlife Hack – One Wristband, 10 Bars, Zero Adulting Skills Required! 🎰🍸 1…

Prospect Park Says “Bon Voyage 2025” With Explosive Confetti and Apathetic Pigeons
Live

Prospect Park Says “Bon Voyage 2025” With Explosive Confetti and Apathetic Pigeons

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 30, 2025

🚨 BROOKLYN’S MOST SPECTACULAR NEW YEAR’S EVE FIREWORKS 🎆💥 Brooklyn Borough President Antonio Reynoso, Prospect Park Alliance, Brooklyn Org, and…

When the Factory Becomes a Discothèque of Despair and Desperation
Live

When the Factory Becomes a Discothèque of Despair and Desperation

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 29, 2025

🚨BREAKING: Portland’s Finest Masquerade Ball Returns—Because Nothing Says ‘New Year’ Like Rich People in Feathers Pretending to Be Poor (But…

Original AC/DC Singer DAVE EVANS Recalls Band’s First Show: ‘It Was Packed To The Rafters… and So Were My Pants’
Breaking, Music News

Original AC/DC Singer DAVE EVANS Recalls Band’s First Show: ‘It Was Packed To The Rafters… and So Were My Pants’

Chord F. DiscordDecember 28, 2025December 28, 2025

When AC/DC Got Their Name: A Tale of Sewing Machines, Sister-In-Law Sorcery, and the Power of Not Paying Your Singer…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 3 4 5 … 8 Next

Latest posts

  • Christopher Nolan Recalls Building Fully Practical Tom Holland For ‘The Odyssey’ 
  • Nickelback Unleashes New Single Ahead Of Forthcoming Album Release
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Inflation drops to 3.5 percent in June, largest monthly decrease
  • Netflix Prioritizes Volume Over Quality In Content Strategy
  • Phish Fans Disappoint Hamilton County Prosecutor’s Office

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}