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Tag: New Year

National Guard to Patrol New Orleans for New Year’s Because Apparently One Terrorist Wasn’t Enough
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

National Guard to Patrol New Orleans for New Year’s Because Apparently One Terrorist Wasn’t Enough

Big ElephantDecember 30, 2025December 30, 2025

Trump Sends National Guard to New Orleans for New Year’s Eve: When in Doubt, Blame Liberals and Deploy Troops In…

Fenway All Access – Boston New Year’s Eve 2026: Where the Green Monster Meets the Champagne Fountain
Live

Fenway All Access – Boston New Year’s Eve 2026: Where the Green Monster Meets the Champagne Fountain

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 30, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Boston’s Elite 1% Discovered Secret Nightlife Hack – One Wristband, 10 Bars, Zero Adulting Skills Required! 🎰🍸 1…

Prospect Park Says “Bon Voyage 2025” With Explosive Confetti and Apathetic Pigeons
Live

Prospect Park Says “Bon Voyage 2025” With Explosive Confetti and Apathetic Pigeons

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 30, 2025

🚨 BROOKLYN’S MOST SPECTACULAR NEW YEAR’S EVE FIREWORKS 🎆💥 Brooklyn Borough President Antonio Reynoso, Prospect Park Alliance, Brooklyn Org, and…

When the Factory Becomes a Discothèque of Despair and Desperation
Live

When the Factory Becomes a Discothèque of Despair and Desperation

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 29, 2025

🚨BREAKING: Portland’s Finest Masquerade Ball Returns—Because Nothing Says ‘New Year’ Like Rich People in Feathers Pretending to Be Poor (But…

Original AC/DC Singer DAVE EVANS Recalls Band’s First Show: ‘It Was Packed To The Rafters… and So Were My Pants’
Breaking, Music News

Original AC/DC Singer DAVE EVANS Recalls Band’s First Show: ‘It Was Packed To The Rafters… and So Were My Pants’

Chord F. DiscordDecember 28, 2025December 28, 2025

When AC/DC Got Their Name: A Tale of Sewing Machines, Sister-In-Law Sorcery, and the Power of Not Paying Your Singer…

Singer SILJE WERGELAND Finally Escapes THE GATHERING After 16 Years of Forced Hugs and Atmospheric Drudgery
Breaking, Music News

Singer SILJE WERGELAND Finally Escapes THE GATHERING After 16 Years of Forced Hugs and Atmospheric Drudgery

Chord F. DiscordDecember 28, 2025December 28, 2025

🚨BREAKING: Silje Wergeland Leaves THE GATHERING After 16 Years — Fans Panic, Keyboardist Cries Into His Synth Pad 🎹😭 In…

“Rocking New Year 2026” FREE Concert, Street Party & Fireworks Spectacular!
Live

“Rocking New Year 2026” FREE Concert, Street Party & Fireworks Spectacular!

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 28, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Central Florida to Host the Most Lit Street Party of 2026, and Yes, It’s FREE (But Your Soul…

Refuge New Year’s Day Marathon w/ Victor Calderone – Because Nothing Says Recovery Like 4 AM Pounding Bass
Live

Refuge New Year’s Day Marathon w/ Victor Calderone – Because Nothing Says Recovery Like 4 AM Pounding Bass

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 26, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: A DJ Will Play Records for Money in Brooklyn 🚨 The REX system—a fancy speaker setup that goes…

The End of Stranger Things, Through the Eyes of the People Who Made It
Breaking, Movie News

The End of Stranger Things, Through the Eyes of the People Who Made It

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 26, 2025December 26, 2025

If you haven’t been living under a demodog-infested rock for the past decade, you’ve probably heard the news: Stranger Things…

HI-TOP FADE: Where the Only Thing Higher Than the Hair Is the Cringe
Live

HI-TOP FADE: Where the Only Thing Higher Than the Hair Is the Cringe

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 25, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Atlanta Adults to Relive Their Glory Days (or First-Time Regrets) at Hi-Top Fade ‘Grown Folks Playground’ 🚨 📍…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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