Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: News

Monster Hunter Stories 3 Devs Stole Their Turn-Based Combat Ideas from Metaphor and Expedition 33 Because Why Not?
Capcom Spies on Successful RPGs, Shrugs, Says "We Can Do That Too"
Breaking, Games News

Monster Hunter Stories 3 Devs Stole Their Turn-Based Combat Ideas from Metaphor and Expedition 33 Because Why Not?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

Oh, look! The geniuses behind Monster Hunter Stories 3: Twisted Reflection have discovered something revolutionary: modern RPGs exist and people…

5 Things to Know for Feb. 13: DHS Shutdown, Minnesota Surge Over, Nancy Guthrie, Epstein Fallout, Climate (Because Apparently, the World Still Exists)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things to Know for Feb. 13: DHS Shutdown, Minnesota Surge Over, Nancy Guthrie, Epstein Fallout, Climate (Because Apparently, the World Still Exists)

Big ElephantFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

It’s Friday the 13th, when even sensible Americans might knock on wood just in case. While the Left will blame…

Prime Video’s Global Showcase: Because Your Couch Needs More Foreign Drama This Week
Prime Video Just Dropped an International Content Bombshell, and You're Gonna Need a Passport to Keep Up
Breaking, Movie News

Prime Video’s Global Showcase: Because Your Couch Needs More Foreign Drama This Week

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

Prime Video decided to flex its global muscles this week, hosting what can only be described as the United Nations…

Game Con Canada Unveils Epic North American Game Industry Summit in Edmonton—Because Who Doesn’t Love a Good Alberta Blizzard in June?
Breaking, Games News

Game Con Canada Unveils Epic North American Game Industry Summit in Edmonton—Because Who Doesn’t Love a Good Alberta Blizzard in June?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

Oh great, another gaming event to add to the never-ending list of conventions, summits, and showcases. But this time, it’s…

Genshin Impact Finally Lets You Play Varka After 5 Years of Teasing — Because Who Needs New Regions Anyway?
Breaking, Games News

Genshin Impact Finally Lets You Play Varka After 5 Years of Teasing — Because Who Needs New Regions Anyway?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

Oh, great, another Genshin Impact update—because clearly, what the world needs is yet another chance to pretend we’re not still…

US Military’s Laser Gun Dreams Cause El Paso Airport to Hit the Pause Button
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Military’s Laser Gun Dreams Cause El Paso Airport to Hit the Pause Button

Big ElephantFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

Trump’s America Leads the World in Laser Defense Tech While Libs Whine About “Safety” Breaking news, patriots: while the Democrats…

How Unsolved Killings Expose Israel’s Crime-Solving Skills: Or Lack Thereof
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

How Unsolved Killings Expose Israel’s Crime-Solving Skills: Or Lack Thereof

Big ElephantFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

Shocking “News” From CNN: Palestinians in Israel Being “Killed” at “Record Rates” — Must Be Trump’s Fault! In a shocking…

Oh look, turns out Trump’s tariffs are just a fancy way of making Americans pay for their own wallets to be lighter!
The Tariffs Are Working! Oh Wait, They're Not
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oh look, turns out Trump’s tariffs are just a fancy way of making Americans pay for their own wallets to be lighter!

Big ElephantFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

Well, well, well, look who’s finally admitting what we’ve known all along! The deep state at the Federal Reserve Bank…

Minneapolis Enforcement Surge Ends, Leaving State and DHS Officials Sweating Bullets in Senate Hot Seat
Minnesota Dems Cower as Border Czar Homan Calls Off Liberal Snowflake Protest Circus
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Minneapolis Enforcement Surge Ends, Leaving State and DHS Officials Sweating Bullets in Senate Hot Seat

Big ElephantFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

After months of liberal tantrums and fake news hysteria, President Trump’s tough border czar Tom Homan has mercifully announced the…

5 things to know for Feb. 12: Canada shooting, Nancy Guthrie, Airspace closure, Funding impasse, Olympic athlete disqualified | CNN
5 Things: Trump Delivers Another Flawless Day While America Remains Safe
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

5 things to know for Feb. 12: Canada shooting, Nancy Guthrie, Airspace closure, Funding impasse, Olympic athlete disqualified | CNN

Big ElephantFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

In a stunning display of leadership, President Trump has once again proven that America is in the best possible hands.…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 137 138 139 … 286 Next

Latest posts

  • House greenlights Iran war funds because diplomacy is overrated
  • Ben Folds Slams Trumps Kennedy Center Power Grab
  • Kelly Osbourne Opens Up About Life After Ozzy’s Passing
  • Senate Still Somehow Struggles With Russia Sanctions Bill
  • Conan OBrien Reveals Bizarre New Look

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}