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Tag: News

OMG! Apple Accidentally Leaks iPhone 17 Sales Data (Spoiler: It’s Doomed)
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Apple Accidentally Leaks iPhone 17 Sales Data (Spoiler: It’s Doomed)

Big ElephantOctober 30, 2025October 30, 2025

Oh, the Deep State’s favorite fruit peddler, Apple, released their quarterly earnings, and you won’t believe the spin they’re trying…

5 Things You Gotta Know on Oct 30 (Or Not): Trumpy-Xi Pow-Wow, Boom Boom Nukes, Hurricane “Meh-lissa,” Starving People, and Art Thieves at the Louvre, LOL
Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things You Gotta Know on Oct 30 (Or Not): Trumpy-Xi Pow-Wow, Boom Boom Nukes, Hurricane “Meh-lissa,” Starving People, and Art Thieves at the Louvre, LOL

Big ElephantOctober 30, 2025October 30, 2025

Another day, another excuse for the liberal media to whine about something. But fear not, patriots, because your favorite President…

Trump’s Genuflection to Xi So Massive It’s Practically a Communist Manifesto
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Genuflection to Xi So Massive It’s Practically a Communist Manifesto

Big ElephantOctober 30, 2025October 30, 2025

Another brilliant masterstroke from our President Trump! He’s playing 4D chess while the lib snowflakes are still trying to figure…

Animal Crossing: New Horizons Gets Another Useless Update and a Switch 2 (LOL JK) on Jan 15
Breaking, Games News

Animal Crossing: New Horizons Gets Another Useless Update and a Switch 2 (LOL JK) on Jan 15

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 30, 2025October 30, 2025

Oh. My. God. 🙄 Nintendo, bless their tiny, corporate hearts, announced a Nintendo Switch 2 version of Animal Crossing: New…

GOP Lawmakers Grow a Spine, Maybe? (Don’t Hold Your Breath)
Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Lawmakers Grow a Spine, Maybe? (Don’t Hold Your Breath)

Big ElephantOctober 29, 2025October 29, 2025

The liberal media is at it again, trying to spin a narrative of GOP dissent against our glorious President Trump!…

FEMA Bad, Trump Good: ‘Independent’ Investigation Clears Dear Leader
Elephant Reads CNN

FEMA Bad, Trump Good: ‘Independent’ Investigation Clears Dear Leader

Big ElephantOctober 29, 2025October 29, 2025

Another day, another deep dive into the cesspool of leftist conspiracies! CNN is at it again, folks, trying to make…

CNN’s Oct 29 Extravaganza: Melissa’s Tantrums, Asia’s Adventures, Trump’s Encore, Mideast Mayhem, and Boating Bloopers
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s Oct 29 Extravaganza: Melissa’s Tantrums, Asia’s Adventures, Trump’s Encore, Mideast Mayhem, and Boating Bloopers

Big ElephantOctober 29, 2025October 29, 2025

Every pathetic, virtue-signaling air traffic controller in the US received a whopping zero-dollar paystub this week. Cry me a river!…

UBS Laughs All the Way to the Bank (Again): Profits Soar Like a Hedge Fund Manager’s Ego
Elephant Reads CNN

UBS Laughs All the Way to the Bank (Again): Profits Soar Like a Hedge Fund Manager’s Ego

Big ElephantOctober 29, 2025October 29, 2025

Folks, UBS is SURGING, and you know why? Because of President Trump’s booming economy, that’s why! All this winning is…

Tyketto to unleash ‘Closer To The Sun’ in March 2026 (Get ready to be mildly whelmed)
Breaking, Music News

Tyketto to unleash ‘Closer To The Sun’ in March 2026 (Get ready to be mildly whelmed)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 29, 2025October 29, 2025

Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in! 😹 Those hard-rocking has-beens, TYKETTO, are gracing us with their presence…

Vampire Survivors Gets Balatro’d So Hard It Needs a Castlevania Band-Aid and Some Friends
Breaking, Games News

Vampire Survivors Gets Balatro’d So Hard It Needs a Castlevania Band-Aid and Some Friends

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 29, 2025October 29, 2025

Oh, dear internet dwellers, brace yourselves! 🙄 The overlords at poncle have deigned to bless us with another “update” for…

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