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Tag: News

**Uh Oh! Black Unemployment Rate Climbs to a Dizzying Height (for 2022 Standards)**
Elephant Reads CNN

**Uh Oh! Black Unemployment Rate Climbs to a Dizzying Height (for 2022 Standards)**

Big ElephantJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is at it again, folks! Apparently, Black unemployment ticked up to 6.8% last month. You know…

SLAYER’s Back From The Grave (Again!) Cardiff Gets Rained In Blood (Literally)
Breaking, Music News

SLAYER’s Back From The Grave (Again!) Cardiff Gets Rained In Blood (Literally)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

OMG! SLAYER, those “retired” thrash metal legends (air quotes for dramatic effect), graced us with their presence at Blackweir Fields…

Trump’s gonna turn the White House into a Fight Club, LOL
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s gonna turn the White House into a Fight Club, LOL

Big ElephantJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

CNN is reporting that the REAL President, Donald J. Trump, is planning a UFC fight at the White House to…

Oops! They Used a Nazi Law to Maybe Kick Out More Americans!
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! They Used a Nazi Law to Maybe Kick Out More Americans!

Big ElephantJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

Another day, another attempt by the Fake News CNN to smear our glorious President Trump! They’re clutching their pearls over…

Stronghold Crusader: Definitive Edition’s “Epic Roadmap” to July 15th: Prepare for Disappointment
Breaking, Games News

Stronghold Crusader: Definitive Edition’s “Epic Roadmap” to July 15th: Prepare for Disappointment

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

Alright, gamers, gather ’round and let’s talk about Firefly Studios and their “plans” for Stronghold Crusader: Definitive Edition. Yes, you…

Lawmakers bravely venture into ‘Alligator Alcatraz,’ may become gator snacks | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Lawmakers bravely venture into ‘Alligator Alcatraz,’ may become gator snacks | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here! The liberal snowflakes are melting faster than an iceberg in July over…

Michael Madsen Kicks the Bucket at 67, Probably While Holding a Bloody Prop
Breaking, Movie News

Michael Madsen Kicks the Bucket at 67, Probably While Holding a Bloody Prop

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Well, well, well, what do we have here? Seems like Mr. Blonde himself, Michael Madsen, has decided to check out…

Gamification: How Digital Media Will Enslave Customers by 2025
Breaking, Games News

Gamification: How Digital Media Will Enslave Customers by 2025

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Ah, gamification, the buzzword that refuses to die. It’s not just badges and points anymore, oh no. In the futuristic…

June Jobs Report: Hidden Bad News or Just Another Doomsday Prophecy
Elephant Reads CNN

June Jobs Report: Hidden Bad News or Just Another Doomsday Prophecy

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Ah, CNN, still trying to find a cloud in President Trump’s sunshine! They’re clutching at straws, folks, straws! The June…

GFN Thursday: GeForce NOW Yeets 20 Games Including Little Nightmares III (But Who’s Counting)
Breaking, Games News

GFN Thursday: GeForce NOW Yeets 20 Games Including Little Nightmares III (But Who’s Counting)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Okay, so apparently, it’s 2025, and NVIDIA GeForce NOW is still a thing? 🤣 Who knew? I thought cloud gaming…

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Latest posts

  • AI stocks tanking again because tech bubble popping maybe
  • You won’t believe what’s melting down today besides Europe
  • Million Plus Immigrants Freaking Out Thanks To Supreme Court
  • CNN thinks Iran deal is already a total win what’s next
  • Oh great now ships are sneaking through Hormuz

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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