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Tag: News

Andi Deris of HELLOWEEN Was SOOOO Concerned About OZZY’s Health 25 Years Ago, It Kept Him Up at Least 10 Minutes a Night
Breaking, Music News

Andi Deris of HELLOWEEN Was SOOOO Concerned About OZZY’s Health 25 Years Ago, It Kept Him Up at Least 10 Minutes a Night

Chord F. DiscordAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

In an EXCLUSIVE interview with Ernest Skinner of Canada’s *checks notes* Border City Rock Talk (never heard of it), HELLOWEEN…

Trump Punks Penny-Pinching Public with Package Tax Prank
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Punks Penny-Pinching Public with Package Tax Prank

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Oh, the liberal tears are flowing like a mighty river! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is shutting down the…

Itch.io Backtracks Like a Drunk Snail, Unhides the Naughty Bits (But Still Keeps Your Wallet Safe)
Breaking, Games News

Itch.io Backtracks Like a Drunk Snail, Unhides the Naughty Bits (But Still Keeps Your Wallet Safe)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Oh, the drama! 🍿 Our beloved indie game haven, Itch.io, decided to play hide-and-seek with the naughty bits last week,…

Batman Returns (and promptly leaves because who wants to see that again)
Breaking, Movie News

Batman Returns (and promptly leaves because who wants to see that again)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Oh, great, more Batman 🦇. As if we needed another reason to relive the glory days of the late ’80s…

Another One Bites the Dust: Fed Governor Flees, MAGA Minion to Fill the Void | CNN (Comically Negligible News) Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Another One Bites the Dust: Fed Governor Flees, MAGA Minion to Fill the Void | CNN (Comically Negligible News) Business

Big ElephantAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Oh, joy! Another Deep State operative bites the dust! Adriana Kugler, hand-picked by Sleepy Joe himself, is hightailing it out…

CNN: Trump’s Tariffs—Still the Leprosy of Economics, But Republicans are Catching the Disease
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Trump’s Tariffs—Still the Leprosy of Economics, But Republicans are Catching the Disease

Big ElephantAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Oh, the liberal media is at it again, folks! They’re trying to twist the narrative on President Trump’s brilliant tariff…

Spoiled Brats in the Sky: How Private Jets are Ruining the Planet for Everyone Else
Elephant Reads CNN

Spoiled Brats in the Sky: How Private Jets are Ruining the Planet for Everyone Else

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2025July 31, 2025

Oh, the horror! Those limousine liberals are at it again, polluting our precious skies with their private jets while lecturing…

Cronos: Dawn Breaks, Switch 2 Shakes (and Probably Still Fakes)
Breaking, Games News

Cronos: Dawn Breaks, Switch 2 Shakes (and Probably Still Fakes)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 31, 2025July 31, 2025

Oh, sweet gamers, prepare yourselves for the most thrilling, groundbreaking, and totally-not-derivative experience of the decade! Cronos: The New Dawn,…

Silent Hill F: The Horror Game So Realistic, Even Mother Nature Threw a Hissy Fit
Breaking, Games News

Silent Hill F: The Horror Game So Realistic, Even Mother Nature Threw a Hissy Fit

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 31, 2025July 31, 2025

So, the geniuses behind Silent Hill f, in their infinite wisdom, decided that the *real* Silent Hill (you know, the…

‘Gremlins 3’ Script: Spielberg’s Napping, We’re Waiting
Breaking, Movie News

‘Gremlins 3’ Script: Spielberg’s Napping, We’re Waiting

FinnJuly 31, 2025July 30, 2025

Oh, joy! 🎉 Another Gremlins sequel is supposedly on the horizon because, let’s be honest, Hollywood is just brimming with…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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