Breaking News: Fans Confuse Bench for Grave, Declare Ozzy Dead (Again)
So, apparently, Ozzy Osbourne, the Prince of freaking Darkness (or was it the Court Jester of Darkness?), has finally kicked…
Tag: News
OMG! Spidey’s Thwipping into MTG? Prepare for Cardboard Web-Slinging Chaos at SDCC 2025!
Oh great, ANOTHER Universes Beyond set. Because what MTG REALLY needed was more franchise crossovers to dilute the already questionable…
Smerconish Declares What Trump Should’ve Said, As If Trump Takes Notes From CNN
Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! This time, they’re shedding crocodile tears with the Palestinian Authority PM about a…
ICE Detains Pastor’s Pal, Hilarity Ensues (Not Really) | CNN
Another sob story from CNN about an illegal alien! This “pastor” overstayed his visa! Cry me a river! He should…
Assassin’s Creed Shadows’ Groundbreaking Roadmap: Now You Can Waste Money on DLC and Fast Forward Through the Parts You Hate!
So, Assassin’s Creed Shadows, the game everyone totally remembers pre-ordering and hasn’t already traded in for store credit, is getting…
MORTAL SIN Dusts Off Skeletons, Threatens 2026 Stage Return
MORTAL SIN, Australia’s… well, *a* thrash metal band, is apparently staggering back onto the stage in 2026. Yes, you read…
Elden Ring Nightreign: Now You Can Die With a Buddy in NEW Duo Expeditions Mode
Finally! After what felt like eons of cryptic teases and empty promises, FromSoftware has graced us, the unworthy masses, with…
Tariffs: The Goldilocks Zone (or How Trump Might Accidentally Nuke the Economy)
Fake News CNN at it again, folks! They’re trying to downplay President Trump’s HUGE success with these new trade deals.…
Ex-MEGADETH Bassist Ellefson Thinks OZZY Is The New King, Apparently
Oh, the drama! On Wednesday, July 23, the man, the myth, the legend (of getting kicked out of MEGADETH), David…
University of New Mexico’s Gun Show: One Less Student, Infinite Learning Opportunities
Oh, another day, another shooting. You just KNOW it’s those liberal professors at the University of New Mexico filling young…