Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Nuclear Blast

WATAIN to Finally Call it Quits After Releasing Eighth Album (Thank God)
Breaking, Music News

WATAIN to Finally Call it Quits After Releasing Eighth Album (Thank God)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 20, 2025September 20, 2025

Swedish black metallers WATAIN have announced that their upcoming eighth studio album will be their final collection of new material.…

SABATON’s Got a Bridge, Get Over It
Breaking, Events, Music News

SABATON’s Got a Bridge, Get Over It

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Oh, glorious day! The Swedish Eurovision rejects, SABATON, are gracing Europe with their presence in November 2025 for a “20-city…

Soulfly Drops Another Banger: ‘Chama’ Album & ‘Storm The Gates’ Single – Prepare for Tribal Groove Overload
Breaking, Music News

Soulfly Drops Another Banger: ‘Chama’ Album & ‘Storm The Gates’ Single – Prepare for Tribal Groove Overload

Chord F. DiscordAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

SOULFLY, those elder statesmen of… uh… extreme metal (?), are gracing us with their thirteenth studio album, “Chama”, dropping on…

STELLAR CIRCUITS to unleash 3rd album, ‘Phantom :: Phoenix’ – Prepare for eargasms in November
Breaking, Music News

STELLAR CIRCUITS to unleash 3rd album, ‘Phantom :: Phoenix’ – Prepare for eargasms in November

Chord F. DiscordAugust 27, 2025August 27, 2025

Oh, great, another band thinks they’ve discovered fire 🔥. North Carolina’s STELLAR CIRCUITS, who apparently made some noise last year…

Phil Campbell, the DEFINITELY-not-heavy-metal guitarist (ex-MOTÖRHEAD)
Breaking, Music News

Phil Campbell, the DEFINITELY-not-heavy-metal guitarist (ex-MOTÖRHEAD)

Chord F. DiscordAugust 20, 2025August 20, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with that well-known journalist Andrew McKaysmith of Scars And Guitars podcast, Phil Campbell, the *former* guitarist…

PARADISE LOST Unleashes New Single ‘Tyrants Serenade’ – Prepare for the Melancholy Onslaught from ‘Ascension’ Album (As If You Had a Choice)
Breaking, Music News

PARADISE LOST Unleashes New Single ‘Tyrants Serenade’ – Prepare for the Melancholy Onslaught from ‘Ascension’ Album (As If You Had a Choice)

Chord F. DiscordAugust 15, 2025August 15, 2025

PARADISE LOST, those lovable British purveyors of gloom and riffs, have unleashed yet ANOTHER music video for “Tyrants Serenade.” Because,…

DORO Drowns In New Music Video For ‘Warriors Of The Kiddie Pool’
Breaking, Music News

DORO Drowns In New Music Video For ‘Warriors Of The Kiddie Pool’

Chord F. DiscordAugust 15, 2025August 15, 2025

Doro Pesch, the undisputed German metal queen (according to her PR team, at least), has unleashed upon the world the…

Epica’s Simone Simons Gushes Over Symphonic Metal: ‘It Blew My Tiny Mind’
Breaking, Music News

Epica’s Simone Simons Gushes Over Symphonic Metal: ‘It Blew My Tiny Mind’

Chord F. DiscordAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

In a recent interview with some dude from Brazil 🇧🇷 (who probably thinks samba is metal), EPICA’s vocal powerhouse, Simone…

Fear Factory’s New Singer Somehow Convinced He’s Not Dreaming
Breaking, Music News

Fear Factory’s New Singer Somehow Convinced He’s Not Dreaming

Chord F. DiscordAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

In an interview with the Mike James Rock Show 🎤 (because who else would care?), FEAR FACTORY’s new singer Milo…

Aaron Stainthorpe’s Epic Emo Exit From My Dying Bride: Guitarist Throws Shade
Breaking, Music News

Aaron Stainthorpe’s Epic Emo Exit From My Dying Bride: Guitarist Throws Shade

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Metalirium (because who ELSE would care? 😂), MY DYING BRIDE guitarist Andrew Craighan spilled the…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 4 5 6 Next

Latest posts

  • Retirement Income Dilemmas Because You Clearly Didn’t Save Enough
  • Carla Vasques Spills the Tea on Deficiency and Common Sense Policies or Lack Thereof
  • Trump Unveils New Air Force One Helicarrier
  • Taller gratuito donde te harán creer que tu vida cambiará en 5 años pero probablemente terminarás igual de perdido
  • LETLIVE Might Possibly Maybe Consider New Music If They Feel Like It Someday Maybe

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}