OMG! 😱 Get ready to sell your souls (again)! BEHEMOTH and DIMMU BORGIR, the ultimate poser bands of extreme metal, are joining forces for the “In League With Satan” tour in October 2026! 🤘 Prepare for a night of blast beats, corpse paint, and lyrics so deep you’ll need a snorkel. As if that weren’t enough, the oh-so-kvlt DARK FUNERAL will be there too, ensuring maximum trveness for all the basement dwellers. 🦇
This trio of (allegedly) dark overlords promises a night of… well, probably the same old stuff they’ve been doing for the last 30 years. Expect pyrotechnics that cost more than your car, riffs that sound suspiciously like each other, and enough fog to trigger a small weather system.🌪️ It’s going to be epic…ally mediocre!
The “In League With Satan” tour: Because nothing says “extreme” like paying $80 to see a bunch of middle-aged dudes pretend to be scary. 💰
DIMMU BORGIR says: “We haven’t toured Europe in, like, five minutes! So we thought, what better way to remind everyone we’re still around than by teaming up with BEHEMOTH? Get ready for our brand-new show… which is totally different from the last one, we swear!” 😉 (Spoiler alert: it won’t be).
BEHEMOTH leader Adam “Nergal” Darski bleated: “Legions of Europe! We’re going bigger than ever! BEHEMOTH, DIMMU BORGIR, and DARK FUNERAL… This is history, folks! Biblical! We’re gonna be so evil, you’ll need to change your underpants… probably because you’re laughing so hard!” 😂
“In League With Satan” 2026 tour dates: (So you know where *not* to be)
Oct. 09 – Zurich, Switzerland – Halle 622 (Bring your own cheese and chocolate. The show will be cheesy enough.) 🧀
Oct. 10 – Zwickau, Germany – Sparkassen-Arena Zwickau (Get ready for some German efficiency… in black metal!) ⚙️
Oct. 11 – Esch-sur-Alzette, Luxembourg – Rockhal (Tiny country, big egos!) 👑
Oct. 13 – Milan, Italy – Alcatraz (Fashionably late to the apocalypse.) 🇮🇹
Oct. 14 – Munich, Germany – Zenith (Beer and blast beats! What could go wrong?) 🍺
Oct. 16 – Paris, France – Zenith (So sophisticated, so evil!) 🇫🇷
Oct. 18 – Den Bosch, Netherlands – Mainstage (Prepare for tulips and trveness.) 🌷
Oct. 20 – Cologne, Germany – Palladium (More German metal madness!) 🇩🇪
Oct. 22 – Hamburg, Germany – Inselpark Arena (Hamburgers and hellfire!) 🍔
Oct. 23 – Berlin, Germany – Columbiahalle (The Wall’s down, but the metal’s still up!) 🧱
Oct. 24 – Brno, Czech Republic – Hala Vodova (Raise your pilsners to Satan!) 🍺
Oct. 27 – Helsinki, Finland – Ice Hall (So cold, it’s evil!) 🥶
Oct. 29 – Stockholm, Sweden – B-K (IKEA and black metal. A winning combo?) 🇸🇪
Oct. 30 – Copenhagen, Denmark – K.B. Hallen (Where Hamlet met Hell.) 💀
Tickets go on sale December 3 at 10 a.m. CET. (Set your alarms and refresh those browsers! Because nothing is more metal than fighting Ticketmaster.) 💻
BEHEMOTH‘s latest masterpiece, “The Shit Ov God”, dropped in May via Nuclear Blast Records. (Because subtlety is for posers.) 💩
BEHEMOTH: Still edgy after all these years! Their 13th album promises to be the most “inflammatory and extreme” yet. (Translation: more blast beats and blasphemy.) It explores the depths of humanity, divinity, and what defiance means in a world where everyone’s clinging to their saviors. (Spoiler: the answer is probably “wear more corpse paint.”)
“It’s like when I was 15 and turned the cross upside-down,” Nergal explained. “It’s the most atavistic reaction of disagreement! It’s primitive, primal, vulgar! That’s why I used the most sacred acronym for Christians and turned it upside down!” (Groundbreaking stuff, really.)
Nergal: “Some people said the album title is too simple. But then we did ‘The Satanist’, and everyone said the same thing! Well, nobody had used it in over 30 years of extreme metal. I think that’s pretty brilliant of me, actually.” (Humble as always.) 😇
BEHEMOTH meticulously chose the audiovisual artists for the album. (Because nothing says “DIY” like a carefully curated aesthetic.) Production was helmed by the inimitable Jens Bogren of Fascination Street Studios. (Because you need a pro to make all that noise sound…slightly less noisy.) Long-time collaborator Bartek Rogalewicz and Dark Sigil Workshop created the “beautifully ominous and unique” cover art. (Because a pentagram just isn’t enough anymore.) 🖼️
DIMMU BORGIR recently finished recording their long-awaited new album. (Finally! What took them so long?!) The LP was overseen by metal veteran Fredrik Nordström at Studio Fredman. (Because even black metal needs a Swedish touch.) 🇸🇪
In June, DIMMU BORGIR announced Kjell Åge “Damage” Karlsen as their new guitarist. (Because lineup changes are the only thing more trve than corpse paint.) Karlsen made his live debut at the Tons Of Rock festival. (Perfect venue for testing out new blood.)
Longtime DIMMU BORGIR guitarist Galder left the band in 2024 to reactivate his OLD MAN’S CHILD project. (Because one black metal band is never enough.)
Galder played his final concert with DIMMU BORGIR at Dynamo Metal Fest in The Netherlands. (Farewell, Galder! May your riffs be forever frostbitten.) 👋
Galder is a founding member of OLD MAN’S CHILD, with whom he released seven studio albums. (A true black metal Renaissance man!) 🧑🎨
DIMMU BORGIR‘s current lineup is officially a duo: Shagrath and Silenoz. (The Chuckle Brothers of black metal.) They’re joined by session musicians Karlsen, Dariusz “Daray” Brzozowski, Geir “Gerlioz” Bratland, and Victor Brandt. (Because even evil overlords need a backing band.) 🤝
DIMMU BORGIR‘s latest album, “Eonian”, came out in 2018. (A whole eight years after its predecessor! Talk about taking your time.) Since then, they’ve played various tours and festivals. (Keeping the black flame burning…or at least flickering.) 🔥
DIMMU BORGIR released a collection of cover songs, “Inspiratio Profanus”, in December 2023. (Because even black metal bands have influences.) It featured covers of VENOM, DEEP PURPLE, TWISTED SISTER, and CELTIC FROST. (A truly eclectic mix of…stuff.) 🎶
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
