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Biden Team Desperately Seeks Less Awkward Press Secretary
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Biden Team Desperately Seeks Less Awkward Press Secretary

Big ElephantAugust 13, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like Washington is abuzz with the latest game of…

Feds Suddenly Forget How Guns Work Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Feds Suddenly Forget How Guns Work Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 13, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one – it seems like the Justice Department has decided not…

Because What The World Needed Was Cartoon Carnage
Breaking, Movie News

Because What The World Needed Was Cartoon Carnage

FinnAugust 13, 2026August 13, 2026

Get ready for the (animated) Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Because what the world really needed was another iteration of a…

Jay Weinberg’s Tragic Life Without Slipknot Now Slightly Less Miserable
Breaking, Music News

Jay Weinberg’s Tragic Life Without Slipknot Now Slightly Less Miserable

Chord F. DiscordAugust 13, 2026August 13, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, acclaimed drummer Jay Weinberg (SLIPKNOT, SUICIDAL TENDENCIES, Bruce Springsteen) has unleashed his latest collaborative…

Tennessee efficiently kills two birds with one executioner today
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Tennessee efficiently kills two birds with one executioner today

Big ElephantAugust 13, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like a big day for executions in the US,…

Spider-Man: Brand New Day somehow still making money for Disney
Breaking, Movie News

Spider-Man: Brand New Day somehow still making money for Disney

FinnAugust 13, 2026August 13, 2026

Spider-Man: Brand New Day has officially become the seventh film in history to gross over $700 million at the U.S.…

MOONSPELL’s FERNANDO RIBEIRO Still Pretending Success Is A Shock
Breaking, Music News

MOONSPELL’s FERNANDO RIBEIRO Still Pretending Success Is A Shock

Chord F. DiscordAugust 13, 2026August 13, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some super deep and insightful quotes from Fernando Ribeiro, the vocalist of MOONSPELL?…

Terry Butler vows to never again enable Kam Lee’s antics because apparently his sanity is worth more than a paycheck
Breaking, Music News

Terry Butler vows to never again enable Kam Lee’s antics because apparently his sanity is worth more than a paycheck

Chord F. DiscordAugust 13, 2026August 13, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my desk because I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact…

Inflation Takes a Slightly Less Terrible Turn for Once
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Inflation Takes a Slightly Less Terrible Turn for Once

Big ElephantAugust 13, 2026

Folks, I’m sitting here with my coffee, reading about the latest news on inflation, and I have to say, it’s…

Hollywood Vampires Add 3rd Old Guy To Stage
Breaking, Music News

Hollywood Vampires Add 3rd Old Guy To Stage

Chord F. DiscordAugust 13, 2026August 13, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some serious rockstar nostalgia? 🤯 Because HOLLYWOOD VAMPIRES just kicked off their first…

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