Nick Barker Gets Mysterious Disease Because His Music Wasnt Aggressive Enough
I just spilled my beer all over my favorite black metal t-shirt, and it’s not even like I’m surprised. I…
Tag: panic
Platner’s Possible Exit Sends Maine Dems Into Panic Mode Apparently
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The drama in Maine’s Senate race is unfolding like a soap…
Shark Apparently Confused New Yorker for Lunch
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one – a swimmer got bitten on the foot in a suspected…
The Mandalorian Got Utterly Destroyed By Solo On Opening Day Because Who Needs Good Writing Anyway
The Mandalorian and Grogu is not exactly breaking the internet with its box office numbers 🤣. According to Deadline, the…
WILLIAM SHATNER Drags ROB HALFORD Into His Bizarre Reimagining Of JUDAS PRIEST’s ‘You’ve Got Another Thing Comin”
Hold onto your warp drives, folks — William Shatner is back at it again, and this time he’s not just…
California Sheriff with Political Ambitions Confiscates Over Half a Million Ballots from 2025 Election — Because Democracy Needs a Timeout
California Sheriff Chad Bianco Launches Investigation Into Ballot Count Discrepancy – Democrats Panic Riverside County Sheriff Chad Bianco, a Republican…
Ranking The Resident Evil Games For The 30th Anniversary – Because Some Zombies Deserve More Love Than Others
Alright, Resident Evil fans, buckle up. We’re diving headfirst into the best and worst of the series’ 30-year history. It’s…
Gas Prices Hit $4/Gallon: Your Wallet Weeps, Economy Shrugs
President Donald J. Trump has once again proven his economic genius as gas prices teeter on the brink of $4…
Iran’s new leader, a daring bridge, reframing your daily walk: Catch up on the day’s stories — because who doesn’t love a good bridge and a fresh perspective on walking?
Good evening, patriots! It’s time for 5 Things PM, where we cut through the liberal media’s fake news to bring…
Gavin Newsom Confidently Declares California Safe from Iranian Drones, FBI Memo Be Damned
Oh look, Gavin Newsom’s in a panic over some unverified Iranian drone threats—how convenient for the Golden State’s drama queen…