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Tag: Parasite

A Completely Objective and Unbiased Ranking Of The Metroid Series That Will Definitely Not Anger Any Fans Whatsoever
Breaking, Games News

A Completely Objective and Unbiased Ranking Of The Metroid Series That Will Definitely Not Anger Any Fans Whatsoever

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 24, 2026January 24, 2026

Welp, 2025 is officially in the rearview mirror, which means we’ve somehow survived another trip around the sun without the…

BRING ME THE HORIZON Announces ‘L.I.V.E. In São Paulo (Live Immersive Virtual Experiment)’ Cinema Event
Breaking, Music News

BRING ME THE HORIZON Announces ‘L.I.V.E. In São Paulo (Live Immersive Virtual Experiment)’ Cinema Event

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 20, 2026January 20, 2026

🚨 ALERT: METAL GODS BLESS MORTALS WITH “L.I.V.E. IN SÃO PAULO” 🚨 Brace Yourselves for the Most “Immersive” Experience Since…

Monster High Abomination Doll Is An Intergalactic Eyesore
Breaking, Movie News

Monster High Abomination Doll Is An Intergalactic Eyesore

FinnOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

🤣OMG!😱 Mattel, the geniuses behind Barbie (and other plastic crack for your kids), have decided that the Xenomorph, that cute…

MY DYING BRIDE Finally Kicks Out Vocalist (Who Even Knew He Was Still In the Band?)
Breaking, Music News

MY DYING BRIDE Finally Kicks Out Vocalist (Who Even Knew He Was Still In the Band?)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 9, 2025October 9, 2025

MY DYING BRIDE, the band that makes funerals sound like a rave, has finally decided to ditch their lead singer,…

My Dying Bride Scraps New Album, Has Only ‘Bits Of Three Songs’ Ready: ‘We’re Always Procrastinating’
Breaking, Music News

My Dying Bride Scraps New Album, Has Only ‘Bits Of Three Songs’ Ready: ‘We’re Always Procrastinating’

Chord F. DiscordAugust 20, 2025August 20, 2025

So, MY DYING BRIDE, those purveyors of sonic melancholy, have decided to shake things up a bit, or rather, throw…

High Parasite
Videos

High Parasite

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 7, 2025

Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports…

Aaron Stainthorpe’s Epic Emo Exit From My Dying Bride: Guitarist Throws Shade
Breaking, Music News

Aaron Stainthorpe’s Epic Emo Exit From My Dying Bride: Guitarist Throws Shade

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Metalirium (because who ELSE would care? 😂), MY DYING BRIDE guitarist Andrew Craighan spilled the…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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