Brain-Eating Amoeba Wins Again In Louisiana Lake Tragedy
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. An 8-year-old girl, Lillian Smart, has died after contracting a rare…
Tag: Parasite
Taylor Farms Still Really Good At Not Taking Responsibility Apparently
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like Taylor Farms, a giant produce company, is in…
Lettuce Ruin Taco Bell’s Day With Parasite Outbreak
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the great lettuce outbreak of 2026 is causing…
Taco Bell’s Latest Menu Item: Regret
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Taco Bell, the shining star of the fast-food business, is dealing…
A Completely Objective and Unbiased Ranking Of The Metroid Series That Will Definitely Not Anger Any Fans Whatsoever
Welp, 2025 is officially in the rearview mirror, which means we’ve somehow survived another trip around the sun without the…
BRING ME THE HORIZON Announces ‘L.I.V.E. In São Paulo (Live Immersive Virtual Experiment)’ Cinema Event
🚨 ALERT: METAL GODS BLESS MORTALS WITH “L.I.V.E. IN SÃO PAULO” 🚨 Brace Yourselves for the Most “Immersive” Experience Since…
Monster High Abomination Doll Is An Intergalactic Eyesore
🤣OMG!😱 Mattel, the geniuses behind Barbie (and other plastic crack for your kids), have decided that the Xenomorph, that cute…
MY DYING BRIDE Finally Kicks Out Vocalist (Who Even Knew He Was Still In the Band?)
MY DYING BRIDE, the band that makes funerals sound like a rave, has finally decided to ditch their lead singer,…
My Dying Bride Scraps New Album, Has Only ‘Bits Of Three Songs’ Ready: ‘We’re Always Procrastinating’
So, MY DYING BRIDE, those purveyors of sonic melancholy, have decided to shake things up a bit, or rather, throw…
High Parasite
Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports…